I've been fighting half my life. That's a real long time. A real long time to fight when you can't really see what you're fighting for. I know there is a purpose in life. I know there is a purpose for me; but for now I'm just fighting for survival. I'm fighting but all the while I don't really know how long I'll last. I've had that thought in my head since I started my fight; an understanding that I wouldn't make it. It's an idea that I came to terms with a long time ago. Yet I'm still here. It feels surreal. I rationalize in my mind, that I would not have made it as the person I used to be -