The worst feeling is when you think you cant speak. You well it up inside and pretend it did not happen or maybe that your mind tricked you. I went through all these feelings i still go through them, and i know how your feeling. Frustrated, but there is no magic pill to heal you. Find happiness in new hobbies, passions and things that make you laugh. Laughter and love are the best healers of everything. That moment when you flashback stop yourself take a deep breathe and say "it happened, i am not what happened to me, i am an amazing person and there is a silver lining in all, even tragedies.