LightbulbWanted

It's not your fault. The world should be a better place and we should be able to expect to be safe when we want to hang out with people we like. It's not fair and there's no way you could have known. I have no idea we feel like these things are our fault. Maybe our ridiculous culture of victim blaming gets stuck in our heads from a young age.

Leading someone on, being a "tease", wearing provocative clothing, and agreeing to separate sexual acts -does not- entitle anyone to your body in any way besides what you actively consent to. You would never have expected sex from him if he had only agreed to a blow job... I'm so so sorry this happened to you. It's okay to cry and be confused, but know that this wasn't your fault. Rape is only the rapists fault.

Welcome. I hope you find what you need here with so many attentive and wonderful readers. If you need to talk to someone, please feel free to message me!

I hope you find yourself here, and maybe even patch up those pieces a little bit. I believe in you because you've already taken the first steps. Welcome. <3

Hello, my name is Claire. Thank you for sharing with everyone. I'm so sorry for everything you've lost and dealt with over the years. It's no consolation, but you're a very talented writer.

Costa Rica is so beautiful, isn't it? I'm sorry about your friends attacking your choices, but I'm glad you're reaching out to people in your life and on this forum. Take care.

Oh my, I'm know I'm always afraid I'll accidentally let something slip when I'm sleeping. I hope everything went alright with those three people?

Thank you Dastigerlily, I'm exceedingly happy that you found something to connect with in my post. I wish you all the luck in the world on these forums and I hope we both find a comfortable in the outside world as well, haha. And thank you, Janepp, as well. Take care!

Thank you euca, it's good to know someone going through similar things as me has found this place to be so helpful. Take care as well.

Thank you, I'm glad to know that what I'm starting on this site now has helped someone else. Also, you're officially the first person to respond warmly and kindly to me even referencing this. I don't even know you, but it made me sort of emotional haha. So thank you for that, your good advice, and your offers of assistance.

So, I'm generally a closed off person. Even with my best friends and family, I keep an arms length from them when it comes to honesty about moods and intimacy and anything remotely related to..you know. You know? The tipping point was a few days ago when I found myself outwardly laughing (inwardly cringing and outraged) at my best friend's rape joke, just because I felt like fitting in with everyone else who was laughing. So that sucked and I realized I never wanted to talk about such topics with my friends ever, and that sucked too. Now I'm here..hoping to be honest with strangers instead, a