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No matter how many times or how well I have been put back together, I will always have been broken.
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I'm back.
I was on vacation, and I forced myself to unplug. It was a necessary break from everything. I will be catching up on posts now. Please forgive me if I missed something important! (Or just tag me.)
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My anxiety has turned into this dreadful worry that people are thinking the worst of me. Maybe that's social anxiety? I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it is insanely annoying.
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Thank you, @Whisper. I appreciate your support.
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I understand. I have felt that way too with the advocates. They are all pretty much devoted to DV and I am always the one reaching out to them (or I was in the past; I quit in the past several weeks). I decided they weren't helping me, I am too much of a toxic bundle of drama, and I would just do it myself. Well yesterday I got an email from the one I am closest to, the only one I really talk to now, and we talked about that. She told me that yes, she is a DV legal director, but that I am just as important as her DV clients and not to ever feel like I am too much and not contact her if I need anything. She told me she had cleared her calendar to go to court with me on 8/15 for the pretrial hearing and wanted to make sure it was still on. I just get paranoid when I am always the one reaching out and no one ever initiates contact with me. I felt much better when she emailed me yesterday. So, the point of this rambling, LOL, is to tell you that I am sure your T and your DR/NP do not feel that way. Not at all....but, I know exactly how you feel.