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aperson

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Blog Comments posted by aperson

    aperson

    Posted

    On 4/21/2024 at 7:53 PM, awi said:

    Hi friend.  Please know you are not alone.  I relate to many of the things you wrote.  Like wanting to run away, get back to a place in the past and start over again. Also, on lending myself out to others helping them live their lives.  Please be gentle with you.  You are worth it and valuable.  I heard and felt every word you wrote and think the world of you. Keeping you company

    :thanks:

    aperson

    Posted

    Thank you. Her provider has been great in getting the care in place for rehab which is where she currently is for speech, physical and occupational therapy. Once that is complete we will know better any additional care needed aside from monitor for another TIA/stroke.

    aperson

    Posted

    Thank you @Enigma87 and @Viceless. I have a difficult time accepting compliments but I appreciate that you understand what sounded like silly ramblings. I know in my head that I am not alone and these feelings are true for most people. If I keep repeating it and see enough of others who are feeling the same, one day I will believe it. And maybe that will be the true first step in finding a way to heal.

    aperson

    Posted

    3 hours ago, samantha2009 said:

    :( sitting with you if ok? You are not alone- I feel this way too much lately 💔 

     

    sending support to you 

     

    sam🖤🌻

    Thank you. Sitting is definitely welcomed.

     

    2 hours ago, tuliptorn said:

    💜

    💜 Thank you.

    aperson

    Posted

    Thanks awi. I am remaining positive that all is well. The first time, I did wait nearly a year before getting a procedure done for polyps. This time I acted much quicker so I was not as anemic. As for kids, I may not have been clear. Being sterile is not really an issue for me. I have been certain since I was 7 or 8 that I have no desire to be pregnant or have kids that are biologically mine. I had planned to adopt but life got in the way. It is a psychological thing of feeling less feminine. It is the craziest contradiction but it exists to a smallish degree.

    aperson

    Posted

    Ian37, thank you  and yes, I would agree. I am all for immediate solutions and answers. Especially if they dont cause other issues. I have found that for certain things, it is beneficial for me to be negative for a day or so. I stuff so many other thoughts and feelings that I have to let some of the 'smaller' ones out so I dont explode. I find that this is helpful for me to clear my head to try and find a solution.

    I am working on being a bit more positive which is more work than I thought it would be but it is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. I am using tools to help me focus. Again, sometimes harder than I thought it would be but still a work in progress. When  I am not completely overwhelmed, they work and I can proceed forward.

    aperson

    Posted

    PearlofMary, It's strange how we know there are others who relate but still feel alone. Anyway, I agree. The best way to move forward is to believe it happened unless you have evidence otherwise. Staying consistent with that process is key.

    aperson

    Posted

    @GaleH  You may not have stated it properly. While I found myself planning it, I recognized later that this was not productive. Although I have thoughts, I am able to keep myself from planning anything. No they are not threatening me. I received some damaging information the prior evening and it was extremely hurtful. I will be ok. It will just take some time. Thank you.

    @Ian37  Thank you. I still consider it a weakness unless no one sees you cry. I am working on it. I will be attempting to do some self-care over the weekend. While I am still hurt, I am in a safer head space today. 

    aperson

    Posted

    @Bluesclues Thank you for the encouragement. I agree with you about other things influencing the ability to express one's self. I cannot recall that happening with the trauma. Maybe it comes from other areas in my life. Maybe that is the key.

    I dont mean the fact that I am more reserved now than before joining to be anything negative of AS. I have certainly taken a huge break because as you said it is difficult knowing all these members are hurting as I do. I think that it has more to do with the fact that I cant open up so why even bother others. I hope that makes a little sense. AS has certainly helped me believe in the possibility of healing.

    Patience with myself is something I lack. I havent given up the fight to be a better me. I didnt know how long taking the first step would take. 

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