Got an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. it was all I could do to not cry on the phone with her.

Husband and I had a nice, well no..we both cried, we both were upset...but we talked. I told him I was lonely and unhappy. I told him what I need...and it was so fucking hard to say out loud to him... I told him about the need to be possessed... And he said that isn't me. I know it isn't... He said things that translated to me as, fucking destroy everything by cheating, or leave, cause that ain't me. He said, I know that's what you hear, but that's not what I mean.. But I don't know what he means either.

He loves me, he wants to be with me... He said we could go to counseling together...and we are going to.

I just don't want to feel doomed. Doomed to hurt someone, doomed to destroy my marriage....

Yeah...tomorrow at 2. I hate this. Feeling like this.