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This Falls In Etc

Peppermint

Entry posted by Peppermint ·

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So sometimes I hate Facebook. I was on my Facebook and among a lot of my friends there had been a support rare genetic diseases thing going around. And I went looking for the root, mostly due to curiosity, and wondering what I was missing. The root was a high school enemy of mine, who beat me up several times, and I couldn't have cared less when she left our high school. In fact I was thrilled. I heard she had a kid, but was not really interested. I have not even been back for a reunion. What I didn't know was she has a rare genetic disease, and her child probably won't live into adolescence. Now I feel like an evil person. I added her on Facebook, but it isn't as if I talk to her, even though the graduating class I was in only had 35, and the whole school only had 120. I feel guilty, as if somehow I wished this upon her (because everytime she pushed me into the ground I hated her). And now she is going through a very personal hell.

Anyways, just feeling guilty, and sad.

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Skyfeather

I think you are not alone in how you are feeling about her. If she bullied you there were others and maybe they friended her out of guilt also. It's awful how those bullies keep hold of our memories and continue to sway our actions as adults. I have no attachment and do not feel sorry for her but I feel for you and how that guilt is affecting you. I am going through something similar, but the bullying was more recent than high school. I will simultaneously feel joy and guilt over her current circumstances. It is difficult to let it be. I believe that those bullies in our life were so unhappy that they felt they needed to create chaos in others for relief.

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Peppermint

Thank you Skyfeather. I've had met many "bullies" in life. She was the last of the ones in high school. I guess it is different just because I know what happened to her. I usually take bets that most of the others ended up working low wage jobs or in detention facilities. But if I actually knew what tragedy had beffallen them, I would probably (again) be less glib. I will try and not let it affect me negatively.

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