I feel it again. Does it ever go away? I just want to run off and scream. Little things set me off and they are random. I felt it building up Thurs night and by Friday I just lost it in the car. Crying hysterically and I couldn't breathe to calm down. I know when its coming because there is pressure and anxiety pressure in my chest. Today was a wasted day. Nothing done except eating too much to fill the void and numb the pain. Now I am waiting for the drugs to take effect so I can easily fall asleep and forget about this pain. I hate myself for feeling like this! I am trying to be gentle with myself but I feel so angry that I can't remember the abuse. I am so frustrated. There is one victory that I did not cut myself. I really wanted to release the pain earlier today. I felt my little girl inside me crying in a ball. Wanting to feel safe and be taken from this. I prayed instead and finally it melted away. I am still left raw, aching and angry. I want this to be over.