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I Broke The Silence , Now What ?

kungfu

Entry posted by kungfu ·

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Hi,

I have come public about wha thas happened to me when I was little, i didnt mention who it was but, now people know! Unfortunately, my moms response was " that was the dimbest thing you ever did, I hope now you can be happy etc..." I now find myself angry but Im not sure at what, I have dreams of me being chased all the time now, I wake upi screaming and in cold sweats and all this sine I came out.... I now think that maybe it wasnt a good idea, it seamed to be a good one that day and I felt relieved but now, I m not sure anymore. Its as if I have created my past all over again, I think about it allot more then before and its affecting me, me as who I use to know does not exist anymore, who am I ? I dont even know anymore so, my question remains..... WHAT NOW?

Kung fu

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mystoryunleashed

Hi Kung Fu,

Firstly, speaking out was not dumb, and it was not a bad idea. Silences are hard, and so is speaking out. But there is a quote I'd like you to consider, "My silences have not protected me. Your silence will not protect you."-Audre Lorde. I know speaking out is hard, breaking silences is scary and when people don't respond in a supportive way it plain out hurts. Not to mention it causes confusion and difficulties. I don't know the answer to "what now?". Ultimately that is something you will figure out just as I am at this time. I'm not the best person to advice, I'm responding to let you know, you are not alone.

Take care of YOU as best you can. That's your job, just take care of you. You've already been through so much, don't worry about other peoples opinions/thoughts, just take care of you as best you can.

When it comes to the dream, try to do some deep breaths before bed, and either write/concentrate on what you want to dream... have it be the last thing you do. It's been helping me, though most nights I just tell myself "I want my dreams to be safe. I want my dreams to be safe." and maybe write about what "safe" means to me in that sense.

I don't know if that helped. But like I said, you're not alone. Sending you as much positive as I can.

-Story

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