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What I Want to Say but Won't

Yarnable

Entry posted by Yarnable in Why is Family so Hard? ·

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I want to say things to people in my life, but I won't because I know none of it will do anything to improve my relationship with any of them. I want to scream and rage and tear certain people apart but I also know it won't make me feel even slightly better. I will explode and just feel like utter garbage after and will have to work 3 times as hard to fix what the anger targeted. 

To my older sibling: 

I DID NOT "KILL" THE FAMILY DOG. I made the choice to have him put to sleep because he was old and suffering. The way you talk about it behind my back, you make it sound like I poisoned his food and cackled like an evil witch while he passed away in agony. I made sure his passing was painless and gentle. You're just mad because I didn't ask permission to do it. 

To my younger sibling: 

STOP TELLING ME WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING BEHIND MY BACK. You don't try to correct them or come to my defense, you just listen and then tell me later, which does not help me in any way. I've asked you before to stop, but you don't. 

To my youngest sibling: 

I'm worried you and your fiancé won't work out because you are  both too young to be engaged and the way you treated me growing up shows you don't have much respect for women. You are a chucklehead (trying to keep my language clean) and haven't really proven otherwise. 

To my mom: 

STAND UP FOR ME. I know that everything I told you about your ex-husband was awful to learn about, but you really need to stand up for me more. I get it, my siblings and I are all adults, even the youngest (technically), but you could shut them down once in a while when they get nasty. 

To my Abuser: 
Get bent. 

 

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awi

sitting with you dear @Yarnable I back you up in all you say and know this is so true.  You are not to blame and have done things right.  You don't need their approval in order to do life and even to heal.  They don't understand in order to move forward.  They don't hold that key or lock in your life.  These were powerful statements you are strong and courageous 

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