I can still hear you screaming in my ear over the smallest things.  

You truly knew how to sell me a dream, but it soon became so clear to me that you  

Were nothing but a bum looking for your golden ticket 

The ticket unfortunately was me. 

I dont know how I ever felt those feelings for you that I once did. 

Now when I hear your voice or see your face, my heart drops and I just feel  

DISGUSTING 

All I ever strived to do was to make you proud of me and make sure I was always your number one in your life. 

I put all that bullshit before myself, lost myself in the process. 

You claimed you were saving me from myself but I desperately needed saving from you. 

You risked my life and my freedom and my sanity in place of your comfortability, your ego, and your happiness.  

I dont think you even love yourself, so how could you possibly love me?  

How silly of me to think I was worthy. 

But isnt this what I wanted? Someone to save me? Someone to protect me?  

How could I have known that the king in my story would also end up being the villain too? 

It was like loving two people at once. 

Why cant I just have one?  

Is this what it takes?  

I have to sacrifice myself to feel loved? 

I didnt want the villain. I never signed up for him. 

You tricked me from the beginning and you knew it. 

I could see the flicker in your eyes when you realized I actually fell for it. 

What type of person using and abuses the only person who ever loved all of you?  

I saw the evil in you and still chose you. 

But even then, you’ll always choose yourself.  

I was never the prize to you. 

Even to yourself, you were your own prize. 

I never shyed away from your darkness that you tried to push down as long as you could. 

But maybe I’m naive. I shouldve ran at the first signs. But if you put a broken girl in front of darkness she will always towards it.  

It never fails. 

When will we learn to choose ourselves instead of the man that fantasizes on murdering us in our sleep. 

They will never value us for who we are as actual people. 

All we are to them is sexual gratification and monetary value. 

What a sad reality to uncover that’s all your worth or seen as to most men.  

How do you reverse the knowledge of that? 

How do I ever feel worthy of anything or have any type of self worth again? 

Maybe that’s the point of all of this.... they never want us to feel important or even above average ever again. 

They break us down to the pits of hell and by the time you escape the devil the damage is too much to ever feel any type of relief or happiness on your own or even with someone else ever again. 

He got what he wanted at the end after all.