So the weekend is ending. I was supposed to rest and be gentle with myself. Turned out opposite. 

On the bright'ish side, I slowly started to realize that I was raped. I knew that logically, and remember it. But strangely, after this long time, I had this small realization how badly I got hurt.

I also realized that I've been triggered today and on other occasions, and didn't know it's a trigger. I believed that I was freezing because I'm some kind of non grown up old wuss...

My mindfulness  practice was off today. I dissociated like hell.