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07/11


forestmistheather

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I had T today. I'm finding it really pointless at the moment - it's like we just talk about my week, CBT type stuff. Well I can do CBT through loads of counselling services, I don't need to go to a specialist counselling service for it. Arrrrrhhhh!!! What's the point? Idk, maybe they know what they're doing - maybe it's a good thing not to look at the past and just to concentrate on the here and now. But I've been trying to overcome things myself, trying to forget the past and do things differently and just pick myself up from where I left off since I was a child, and if it was that simple then I'd of succeeded already. Why don't they darn well listen to a sodding this I say? It's not like she's the first counsellor I've had there, she's my second. I'm beginning to believe that they're just not that well trained. They seem useless. I'm in such a bad mood. And I don't even know why so bad. I did tell her some of the way I felt, in that I didn't think she was right for me and I needed someone who drew me out more, but it's not like it got me anywhere - still got the 'see you next week'. Huh? I thought I just said you're not right for me. When will people listen to me, when when when??????????????????????????????? Sorry, I'm just so angry right now. Gonna go for now, maybe tomorrow will be better.

Forest x

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Is there a sexual assault center in the city you live in? The therapists who work in these centers are very easy to talk to and sessions are often offered free of charge to those in need.

(((Forest))) Here to support you

BrokenRoots

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Yeah, my counselling is though rape crisis. Idk why I haven't clicked with my counsellors - maybe it's just me (probably), I do find it very difficult to talk to ppl, and more so to have any level of trust in ppl. I guess the problem is I'm feeling like I'm at bursting point in terms of the frustration, and that's not good. I can snap when that happens, I'm not nice and calm and polite about things because I struggle to say or to convey to ppl what it is I'm trying to tell them or to get them to listen. But eventually I do just snap and will say whatever it is I'm thinking both in a none to nice, very blunt, and really rather shouty/abrupt way. I really don't feel listened to by her - I have to repeat who ppl are and their names, like that of my foster sister and of my niece (both of whom are very important in my life). I may just say next week that I need the Thursdays off from now on or something.

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