Untitled PO Box

2 minutes ago, PlumSundae said:

Let's not say "little to no reason"... with great respect, I think you probably have a very good reason, right?

You might be right... Maybe that part is difficult to accept, too. I want so badly to not be like this. But it's not like minimizing what happened has ever been very productive for me, either. After a point, it feels less like wishful thinking, and more like belittling experiences I never wanted to admit I had.

Thank you for your input/support... as always, I appreciate it.

I'm sorry you had to find those journals and they became a trigger. But I'm glad the emotions that still lingered came up so you could process them a bit more. But I'm sorry there were more emotions to process.

It can sometimes feel unending, can't it?

I can relate somewhat. Recently I've been frustrated that I seem to keep coming back to the same incident over and over with no new information. I mean, I know now that there were others, that remain fragmented for now, so it's not like I'd be out of the woods anyway, but why do I have to keep endlessly relitigating this one?

You and PlumSundae have both helped me see what was staring me in the face: it's because even if there wasn't more to know, there was more to feel.

And in my case, I get the instinctive feeling there will probably be more to feel for a long time. But I have to believe there's a light waiting at the end of this tunnel. For both of us.

So I am sitting w/ you too here. 

1 hour ago, rabbitprotectsme said:

it's because even if there wasn't more to know, there was more to feel.

That's... very true, yeah. That's exactly what it is, I think. I feel this weird sense of embarrassment for still being affected by things like this that I already knew were true, even though I haven't fully processed the emotions that come with experiencing them.

Thank you for your insight & kind words. I'm glad that you're making progress as well.