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How we let perpetrators get away (HUGE tw)


sk8er

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The perpetrator who's masking as a good guy will tell a joke. A joke so unsettleing that makes us question If there was some truth to It.

And we'll all laugh an uncomfortable laugh. We'll even doubt If we're allowed to do so and look around for comfort, but we'll find that none of us have the answer, or, even worse, that none of us want to give It away.

We'll pretend It didn't happen and look the other way, since that's the thing we're best at, believing someone will take care of It anyways, even though no one ever does. 

We may think "someone like that wouldn't be around us", so they must not be! right?, unless, we let them. And we have let them. We'll shortly realize they are all around. At the parties with our friends In common, at our schools and jobs, walking down the streets, and even In our own home.

He even faces accusations from his past, but no one remembers. Because, he lives a normal life, and people who are let to live a normal life aren't bad people, or so we're led to think. He's allowed to go out and have fun, whilst those he hurt remain In hiding, In fear he'll hurt them again. Soon enough, the names of his victims will drown, If they haven't already. And that's how we let them keep getting away.

We pave the way for them to carry out the perfect crime In plain sight. We give them a voice, a platform, money, power, fame -In some cases. And then we go home and sleep at night just fine thinking "at least I'm not him". It's true, we're not him, we're worse, we're his accomplice...everyone Is. 

Every perpetrator we don't call out means they get to walk away, It means they're allowed to keep doing It and they probably will. It means we don't care enough.

But It's just a joke right?. It's just a joke that encourages violance. And we all take It.

 

 

**Disclaimer**

Just wanted to quickly say that this Is said from the perspective of a society that doesn't do anything when they witness bad behaviour, that's why I use the pronouns "we" and "us". But I'm not directly pointing fingers at anybody In particular. It's just a theme I've been seeing a lot recently In my personal life and online. For example, a few weeks ago I saw a guy at a party with some of my friends (far away) who was accused of sa'ing girls TWICE. And I just thought It was so dystopian how he was allowed to go to that party or go out In general. Also, the fact that he came with his new girlfriend (who I hope Is okay and gets out of that situation), and we're all just witnessing and not knowing what to do. It was so bizarre and It made me spiral Into a weird rage thinking about how someone who's so famously bad can keep having everything In their life, and more, and never face any repercussions.

Recently I also found out online that some famous people had talked about young winona ryder (who was 17 at the time) In a very disgusting way. The age gap between them was so creepy too. Sometimes there was a 30 year age gap. These are famous movie directors, who still have a job TODAY, who have wives, children. They're monsters, and they're out. The crazy part Is that I found out about what they did just now, and before that they've always seemed like "acceptable" people. I just keep wondering how many people know, and how many chose to ignore It.

Imagine being a kid and thinking you'll be protected by the adults, but the adults are all against you. There are the ones that hurt you, and the ones that let them hurt you. So who Is left to care for you?

 

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Yes, there're also adults who are groomed by abusers. Even if they're not directly abused, they're led to trust the abuser and overlook subtle but concerning behaviours. Parents can be manipulated to trust child abusers and leave children in their care.

Quite a lot of people are also lucky enough not to be exposed to abuse and won't understand the many forms abuse can take. It's one failing of a society to ignore the lives and plights of the disadvantaged (including the disabled, elderly) as people naturally socialise among similar people.

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19 hours ago, Gol said:

Yes, there're also adults who are groomed by abusers. Even if they're not directly abused, they're led to trust the abuser and overlook subtle but concerning behaviours. Parents can be manipulated to trust child abusers and leave children in their care.

It happened to my mother and It left me with mixed feelings due to the same things that you're saying. Partly, I blamed her for the negligence, but then I realized she was his victim too. It doesn't justify the fact that I wasn't protected, but It does make me understand her more. Abusers can work their way into a whole family.
 

 

19 hours ago, Gol said:

Quite a lot of people are also lucky enough not to be exposed to abuse and won't understand the many forms abuse can take.

This. And although we hope no one gets through what we went through, It definitely feels lonely that only a few understand. Thank you for your comment

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And when you do call them out - generally nothing happens as they are “such a nice guy” and they blame you - free to continue on their bad ways. 

 

In some time you are free by the choices you make, having learnt. You are free from their influence.
 

You go on into your future putting this away for other things. 
 

They do not. 

Edited by Flowerheal
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On 1/24/2025 at 8:35 PM, Flowerheal said:

You go on into your future putting this away for other things. 
 

They do not. 

Exactly. That's what makes me feel angry the most

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