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21/07/2023

forestmistheather

Entry posted by forestmistheather in Therapy reflections ·

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Today was incredibly hard, so much so I'm not even sure I want to type it out.  But maybe it'll help me to do so.  So we started off talking a bit about a dream I'd had about feelings relating to being bullied when I was young.  Then we started talking about the police and the r*pe and how they had said they weren't taking it forward because though there were signs of rape, there were also signs of consenual sex (I believe they were refering to when I organismed and I pushed his head).  But then my T asked me 'Do you still think it wasn't consentual?'  I answered that I didn't think it was.  But I'm a little dumbstuck to be honest.  Does that mean that she thinks it was?  I was so drunk I was passed out most of the time.  Surely I can't consent under those circumstances?  And I'd already told him I didn't want to have sex with him.  Nothing had changed.  I'd just reacted being as passed out as I was to a sensation.  But idk, maybe that's what consent is.  I'm totally confused right now.  Maybe that is enough to give him permission.  And I don't know how I can work with a T that doesn't really believe me, which is a real shame because I really like her.  So confused.

Forest

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WolfMoon

Idk if you prefer people commenting on your blog entries or no but... "I can't consent under those circumstances" is correct. Then, you said you already told him you didn't want to have sex with him. And the third proof of you being the victim is how you are feeling now. You have such hard times because of what happened. Do you think you would feel this way about it if you really enjoyed it or consented or something? I think no. 

 

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forestmistheather
On 8/2/2023 at 9:25 PM, WolfMoon said:

Idk if you prefer people commenting on your blog entries or no but... "I can't consent under those circumstances" is correct. Then, you said you already told him you didn't want to have sex with him. And the third proof of you being the victim is how you are feeling now. You have such hard times because of what happened. Do you think you would feel this way about it if you really enjoyed it or consented or something? I think no. 

 

Thanks @WolfMoon

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