it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I've wanted to though, but mostly I haven't had time or been too exhausted to write. Yeah...even writing was exhausting.

I gotta be honest, It's not much different from how I'm writing right now because I still feel drained almost everyday. But If I stop writing It'll make It worse. Writing has always been a good way to cope with things, at least to me.

I like to think of this place as a space for to readers to exist together. It's me and you and whatever crazy thing I'm writing about haha. And maybe, It becomes a little bit less lonley when I write for the both of us, other than just myself. It makes me feel like what I write has a bigger purpose. I can't possibly surprise myself with my own thoughts anymore...I already know what they are and I think I know mostly everything about me. I guess that's the beauty about sharing your thoughts with someone else... you get to surprise them. I know others have done the same for me.

Even If more than one person joins to read my stuff I think I'd still count It to be as personal as "you and me" because at the end of the day, the person I'm talking to Is just you, whoever that may be....It's personal to each person who crosses paths with me-- I hope that makes the slightest sense. Its like, when a bunch of people hear the same song but they all think of It just a little bit different than the rest because they're taking It personally. It's just a different world In each little brain and although It's the same message, Its interpreted through their own lenses. That's how I like to see It....as they say "art Is free to interpret". There's a reason why It's free.

Then, as beautiful as It may be, It's also just as scary. I mean, think about the way that people are all their own complex world....It's obviously a good kind of scary though, It makes me feel even less lonely knowing everyone's existence Is so alive. Still.....how weird Is It to think about people's perception of things?

I probably sound so silly being this existential over nothing lol, I do feel silly.

It's just something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I've been wanting to put It out there.

I honestly hope I do write more often, It does good things for me hahah.

love u and I'll be back soon