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Anger and Pain

Celia

Entry posted by Celia in Pain ·

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Where do I even start..... 😔😔

 

All these memories, 

Inside my head.

It makes me mad,

Makes me wanna be dead.

 

I don't know what to say,

So, I cry myself away.

Hopefully it's enough,

To drown my mind for the day.

 

All this anger,

All this pain.

I wanna make it stop,

Everything is so gray.

 

No light, no sound,

It's a dark place here.

Where's myself?

I can't see clear.

 

I'm slipping away,

Upon these tears.

It's not my fault,

I didn't choose the years.

 

Abuse and bad memories,

That's why I'm here.

Stuck in a dark place,

I can no longer hear.

 

My mind is giving up,

Everything is shutting down.

I'm so frustrated,

I can't even hear a sound.

 

I'm quitting on talking,

My family doesn't know.

I plan to keep it that way,

At least, till I go.

 

Write a letter,

It'll be something sad.

But I don't wanna go,

I just wanna go back.

 

Back to the place,

Where there was no pain.

Back to the place,

Before I got caught in the drain.

 

Before I got hurt,

And sexually abused.

Before I was bullied,

Scared, and confused. 

 

Before the time,

I didn't want to run away.

The time I was happy,

Where even the moon wasn't gray.

 

I wanna go back,

But it doesn't exist.

No longer in my dreams,

Cross that off the list.

 

That place is gone,

The door is locked.

Sealed with plasma,

Behind a million rocks.

 

Thanks for reading,

My bizarre, weird fit.

This seems more permanent,

I hope I can come back from this.

 

Until then,

I don't know what to say.

Been crying for days,

Hiding my pain.

Kept silent,

But I'm digging my grave.

I need help,

Before I make an unfixable mistake..

Edited by Celia

5 Comments

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Free2Fly

I'm sorry your struggling friend, I can recognise much of the pain in your words.

Is it okay to sit with you and maybe offer a virtual hug if ok? :hug:

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Celia
2 minutes ago, Free2Fly said:

I'm sorry your struggling friend, I can recognise much of the pain in your words.

Is it okay to sit with you and maybe offer a virtual hug if ok? :hug:

I'm sorry you recognize my pain.  That's unfortunate. 😔😔 

And of course, I appreciate it. Thank you. 🙏🏻😔

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Free2Fly
9 minutes ago, Celia said:

I'm sorry you recognize my pain.  That's unfortunate. 😔😔 

And of course, I appreciate it. Thank you. 🙏🏻😔

Yeah the bullies drove me to have a bit of a break down it sure wears on a person.

Anytime friend, remember it's okay to cry just find yourself a safe space where you can let out the negitive emotions.

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Free2Fly
3 minutes ago, Celia said:

Indeed, yea 😔😔

Okay 🤧🤧

Yeah, sitting with you and listening friend :)

 

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