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Celia

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People keep telling me that I was in the right to report something (they know what it is).  Some of them say that I did what was best for my friend.  While the others say that my choices were these: A) I report and she's angry and everything is ruined or B) I don't report it and she commits suicide.

Not long after I reported everything and she found out, she said that she never would have committed suicide.  She said she was afraid of death.  

Although, all those times she talked to me, she always mentioned how if ANYONE reported anything, she'd kill herself, and she even told me the many ways she would.  She would also threaten me and told about how she'll cut and she'll cut more and more till the day she's dead, and she won't care.  

My goal was to save her from that.  I didn't want her to kill herself over some stupid person that hurt her.  I didn't want that person to feel as if they had the power over her.  As if they "won," because if she was dead, then who would know what happened to her?

So, people say, I did the right thing.  But... I don't think I did.  She never would have committed suicide.  She's afraid of death.  She's scared to even cut too deep.  I let my fear and the persuasion of my mother get in my head and report everything that I knew (that she told me) that happened to her.  I have proof of it all too. 

After seeing the end of choice B, A would've been better.  At least she would've still had a friend who she could trust.  But instead, I decided to ruin that too.  Not only is the police doing nothing, but she can't talk to me.  She hates me, her family hates her, her abuser is pissed off (probably will abuse her again - they live in the same house), and she lost her phone and any contact with people other than school.  

I understand I should be looking at a different perspective and seeing that reporting was the best thing.  But... it wasn't.  Maybe for most cases, it is.  But this one... no, it wasn't.

I ruined everything.  Any relationship, trust, hope, belief she had with her family, is now gone.  And if anything happens to her now or in the future, I'm responsible.  

Edited by Celia

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