The other day at a thrift store, I was hit by another hidden part of my trauma, a t-shirt with the travel destination Vail on it, I froze, that shirt took me back again to right before the divorce. My dad went to a convention without mom so when he came home she kicked him out and within seconds ordered me to go get him, so I went outside and got in the car, he was crying and then informed he had met a woman he loved, not as much as me, he wanted me more than her, I was nine, then he handed me a Vail t-shirt for me and told me only big girls could keep a secret, then I smiled at him and asked him to come in, I kept his secret all these years, hidden in my muddled brain, broken heart, now looking back I was not only his daughter, girlfriend, I kept his secrets, secrets no nine year old should know, looking back I was never a nine year old daughter to him, I was nothing to him.