so today’s my 23 birthday and instead of enjoying it and embracing the fact I’ve lived another year I’m depressed and crying!!! I keep thinking I’m going to go check the mail and imma have a card and a dream catcher in there from my dad. But I know that’s not gonna happen not after what he’s done. I remember growing up every year he would make me one and send it to me with a card. I know it wasn’t much but it’s the thought that count. He was still in jail and managed to do something special for me. Now I feel like I’m such a horrible person for standing up for myself and taking away someone that seemed to care about me.  I just wish I could talk to him and hear his voice I don’t want to have a conversation just hear him hear his voice. I feel so freakin pathetic like why do I care so much today? Why am I so emotional? Why do I even bother giving it a second thought? He ruined me! Destroyed me! And I can’t help but to feel bad today!!!

happy fucking birthday to me!!! NOT!!!!!