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My mind

A blog by Survive95 in General

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Todays session

Survive95

Entry posted by Survive95 ·

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Today I went to counseling and I realized how much hate I have towards some people I realized that the people I thought cared about me really doesn’t I just want them to care about me and I hate it cause I have such a grudge towards my mom and I just really don’t want to talk to her anymore I’m so tired of wanting people to love me and to care and they are the ones that don’t care about the way I feel I hate that I’m in such a bad place and that I keep trying to push my husband away it’s definetly time for some change and hopefully it will definetly be for the better I’m just so ready to be okay now I’m just ready to move forward my counselor set up a goal to find me a new normal and not the same normal that I was resulting in before but a new and better normal and I’m looking forward to it now I’m ready to change and to be okay I just wish it was so hard for me to tell my story to her it’s so easy to write or type it all down but when it comes to talking it’s so much harder I just start to feel anxious but I really want to just don’t know how to do so hopefully next session will be much better 

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Survive95
1 hour ago, elisand said:

it's so hard. you are so courageous to work to climb out of this.:)

Thanks it’s definetly hard and it’s definetly different from what I’ve been doing in the past

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FallenAngelhms

It sounds the same as me I hate my mom I hate myself for hating her I hate my partner my kids my work my manager everything feels magnified and I want out

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Survive95
49 minutes ago, FallenAngelhms said:

It sounds the same as me I hate my mom I hate myself for hating her I hate my partner my kids my work my manager everything feels magnified and I want out

I understand I wish i could just cut out all the anger inside of me and be able to move on and it sucks I hate being so angry all the time I hate even the littlest of things can make me so mad so easily and it shouldn’t I wish there was a way to make it all go away I have so much anger I feel like I don’t feel anything else but anger

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