Maybe I really was abused.

I was able to talk to one of the specialists on RAINN today. They agreed what I went through is qualified as abuse.

Sexual, Physical and Emotional.

As I have begun to open up I am beginning to discover all that really occurred in the relationship. Not that it can really be qualified as a relationship.

Maybe the relationships I have been in are not right.

Maybe it's not normal to be threatened and held too tight if I didn't send the pictures he wanted. I don't know, but a lot is starting to remind me of him, I don't know why now? It's been almost five years since I was first used for his pleasure.

All I know for sure is that I am starting to get scared. It's becoming a little more obvious of my past to people close to me, but that was never the case before.

I don't want this to define me, but its all people seem to care about. Isn't even possible to move on and forget it? 

Or will I always be reminded of those years?