A lot of people ask me, why did you stay in a relationship with him for so long ?

Goodness, That question angers even me! I don't know why and I beat myself up everyday thinking about it. I've always wanted some sort of clarity to why I did stay, why I went back. And why I was so ashamed and hurt that I opened my mouth and said something .

It took a long time to be able to except the fact that I'm not doing anything wrong. I remember one day, I went to talk to my advocate and she told me that there was another victim. I wanted to just hit the deck, my heart stopped. It was then that I relieazed that I'm doing a GOOD thing.

There's never just "one victim". I can now look in the mirror and look at the girl in front of me and say, "I'm proud of you". Why? because once I came foward, two other victims did. And this pattern started to develope. I wasn't the only one. And there's a whole group of people that he hurt, and because I said something. He is currently behind bars. WHERE HE BELONGS!

I've never been someone to do something for revenge. I believe pursuing a case involving rape just for justice is sick(in my eyes) One day, I remember NCIS asking me why I was doing this, they asked if I wanted revenge. I remember breaking down because I felt evil.

If I could look him in the eyes today.. I'd say, "I'm doing this because I have a voice and I have the oppurtunity to put this guy in bars! There is a rapist defending our country! I'm doing this for 'The next girl'!"

That's the only thing that keeps me going.

However, If I could look my rapist in the eyes today, I'd say THANK YOU!