So I was just going through some of the older boards and I came across a entry about teleah's birthday and her mom. I started out with the simple understanding on how horrible mothers can be. But as I started to type away an anger arose and I couldnt let these typing fingers to stop. I started to cry. Its wasnt tears of anger as I thought it would be. It was tears of joy! I realized so much! My mom is the string that holds almost of my abuse. Ive always held my mom accountable for just the pyshical and emotional abuse. But there is more to this string then I've ever seen! When I was 2 yrs old her new boyfriend moved in. long story short he molested me and my brother. when my family found out he was arrested. but my mom bailed him out, twice. putting that man back into our home, i do believe that lasted a short period but still who does that????. fastforward a 6 yrs, my 15 yr old uncle started with molesting and raping me lasted almost 8 months. she found out when he had just taken off my clothes and I cant remember what happen just before so he might have been touching me I dont know. I just remember right after being thrown in tub, her yelling "YOUR A DIRTY GIRL" I dont blame her for what he did but her reaction. She should have talked to me, I shouldnt have been spanked. Her reaction made it so hard to live with myself. I thought I was broken before but then my own mom treated me that way, it was/has been something incredibly difficult to get over. years later, I dont blame her directly for my brother molesting but she has some blame. If he and I weren't molested at 2 and 3 I dont think that would have happened. If I didnt believe I was dirty I would have talked to some one for help. Im not blaming her for my all abuse, for I was the one who drank the alchol, which lead me to an effed up night I've never been ready to talk about. So Im not pointing the finger or put all the blame on her because I know there are other factors. I'm just annoucing to the world that I've cut this string that ties it all together out my life for good. For in the end result for my total psyche, my mother is best out my life.

Btw. absoltutely love my mother-in-law. She's been more a mother to me than my mom and 2 stepmoms combined!!!!!!