Jump to content
Login Issues? Need General Assistance and can't access our onsite Help Desk? Shoot us an email at our email address: moderators@aftersilence.org ×
Are you a Survivor looking to join our community? Click here for important tips and information. ×
Followers 0
  • entries
    5
  • comments
    6
  • views
    298

About this blog

Thinky thoughts, lots and lots

Entries in this blog

Why is Family so Hard?

Why Do I Miss Him Sometimes?

I went no contact with my abuser, my biological father, back in 2020. Lockdown was awful in many ways, but being forced to sit with myself and think back on my life and relationships with my family is pretty much what triggered the memories of csa from my bio father.  My relationship with him was already really rocky, and I hadn't actually seen him face-to-face since 2011, shortly before my mom divorced him for a myriad of reasons, the biggest one at the time being his alcoholism. His abuse
Why is Family so Hard?

What I Want to Say but Won't

I want to say things to people in my life, but I won't because I know none of it will do anything to improve my relationship with any of them. I want to scream and rage and tear certain people apart but I also know it won't make me feel even slightly better. I will explode and just feel like utter garbage after and will have to work 3 times as hard to fix what the anger targeted.  To my older sibling:  I DID NOT "KILL" THE FAMILY DOG. I made the choice to have him put to sleep because
Therapy is Not Fun

Trigger Crash Out

I can sorta feel my hold on staying present slipping, so I am trying to keep myself here by writing. I really don't like disassociating and I can tell my brain wants to right now.  In therapy my T has got me trying to work on the "Trauma Egg" - it's pretty easy to find info on it if you look it up. They warned me that a side effect of working on it could be a return of hypervigilance and stronger reactions to triggers that haven't been bothering me as much lately. Boy howdy were they right
My Brain is Full of Soup

So Many Changes

For the first time sine 2019, I will be living in the same state as my Mom.  She has been planning a big move for about a year, and has been thinking about it for much, much longer. Originally, she was going to go overseas and live somewhat close to my older sister, who is in grad school over in Europe. My Mom is now retired, and officially an empty nester this year. She wanted to do something strictly for herself and go back to school, which we all encouraged her to do. Well, that plan fel
Yarnable

Yarnable in My Brain is Full of Soup

0
Why is Family so Hard?

Sisterhood Lost?

Around 2 months ago, my husband and I had to make the very hard decision to have our pug put to sleep. He was quite old, around 16 years, and had pretty advanced dementia. He would get lost going from one room to another, and then start screeching because he couldn't find me. He didn't really want to be held or cuddled, and he tried to bite me once after I stopped him from trying to eat trash in the parking lot of our apartment. He was constantly confused and the only time he really seemed happy
Followers 0
×
×
  • Create New...