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About this blog

Thinky thoughts, lots and lots

Entries in this blog

Why is Family so Hard?

Why Do I Miss Him Sometimes?

I went no contact with my abuser, my biological father, back in 2020. Lockdown was awful in many ways, but being forced to sit with myself and think back on my life and relationships with my family is pretty much what triggered the memories of csa from my bio father.  My relationship with him was already really rocky, and I hadn't actually seen him face-to-face since 2011, shortly before my mom divorced him for a myriad of reasons, the biggest one at the time being his alcoholism. His abuse
Why is Family so Hard?

Sisterhood Lost?

Around 2 months ago, my husband and I had to make the very hard decision to have our pug put to sleep. He was quite old, around 16 years, and had pretty advanced dementia. He would get lost going from one room to another, and then start screeching because he couldn't find me. He didn't really want to be held or cuddled, and he tried to bite me once after I stopped him from trying to eat trash in the parking lot of our apartment. He was constantly confused and the only time he really seemed happy
Sad, but Coping

Love & Loss, Trying to Learn to Grieve

My little brother passed away two years ago today. He was only 15, a few months from his 16th birthday. He would be turning 18 this year.  All day, I have been quietly distracting myself. I didn't realize this until I had to ask my husband for help because I was making plum syrup out of the tiny little plums that grow in our parking lot (Don't worry, I researched the variety of plum when we moved to this apartment and I confirmed that they are safe to eat. They are very small, about the siz
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