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About this blog

I'm just going to use this as a space to process things in a way I can write down and read again when I need to. Any input you have is welcome.

Entries in this blog

The Voice Currently Borrowing My Lips

I Wish I Knew How I Could Help You

Today, Silas has been a little more expressive and it's excruciating. He said today, "why did we let this happen?" over and over. Just to himself. He also lifted his shirt and made motions across his stomach and arms; he wanted to cut those spots. All he wants is to cuddle with me; he's still scared to directly speak to me. I'm sorry I let you down little one. I'll at least be here for you to rest against.
The Voice Currently Borrowing My Lips

Breathing Room

Spent time with Silas today. I think the biggest thing I need to focus on with his arrival is giving him the space and opportunities to show himself more. I visualized him while we were at the library. He looked at me curiously but still won't talk any more than he has. He seems uneasy around passersby. I guess I need to make sure I have safe places to relax alone with him more often, and make sure I feel safe more often too. He can't feel safe if I don't. There's got to be a easier way. Wh
The Voice Currently Borrowing My Lips

Tucked Away

Spent last night asleep with Silas curled up against my chest. He's shy to speak still. He's warming up to affection though. Imagined I kissed him goodbye before I went to work. If you need to retreat for now Silas, I understand. I hope you'll visit me again soon. Next time, you can pick one of my plushies if you need something to hold onto. I'm always here if you want to say something or if you don't. You deserve nurture, you deserve your wounds to be dressed and if I'm the only warm thing you
The Voice Currently Borrowing My Lips

It's Just Us, You're Safe to Come Out

I spoke with the little boy in my head tonight (if you're reading this, the context is in my post titled When I Speak). He showed up and I visualized him peeking over my shoulder. He's scared but inquisitive. He's been using my voice and it seems like he's scared to be punished for it. I'm grateful you're here and talking to me, little one. I'm not angry. This is one of the only ways you can get help. I know nobody else sees you. But I know you're here and when you're ready, you can say what you
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