Registration Issues? Login Issues? Need General Assistance and can't access our onsite Help Desk? Shoot us an email at our email address: moderators@aftersilence.org×
I’ve been afraid to write anything for a while because I now have a new fear where I’m scared of people thinking I’m always “bad”, or always going through something…which Is not true, at least I don’t think It’s that simple.
I think this place became so comfortable for me that at a certain point, I only came here to share all my Issues…and maybe I made It seem like that was all there was In my life…
My days are usually filled with “gray areas”. Good and bad things happen to me all the
I've noticed I come here to vent most of the time, to speak the things I can't say out loud on a daily basis. Sure, I get some of It out on therapy but I can't go that often because of my income, so I end up coming back here.
It's not necesarily a bad thing, but I'm wondering If I can talk about other things? maybe keep things light once In a while. That might be a good change.
At home I don't feel at one. Let's be fair, I never will If I haven't by now, but should I keep putting out fires?
I think I've reached a point where I don't know wether to choose to put out another fire or start to build myself a life, even if It's a slow one.
If I choose my dreams, It'll be slow and I'll still have to put up with poor living, doubting everyday If I can stand It anymore, not knowing If I'll eventually lose my mind because of It.
If I choose a home, I'll never hav
(I use the Older Version of me as OV, and the Younger Version of me as YV to avoid confusion)
YV: I wish we were safe. I feel like you run around when things happen at the house and It makes me feel scared, like I don't know what's gonna happen next...
OV: I know, I wish we had a better place to stay too...our own place, but for the moment we just have to keep moving, we have no choice....
YV: But why don't you slow down? why can't you see that I can't run as fast as you do and I'
bby me: okay, Is there something wrong?...are you mad at me?
Old me: Not at all, I'm never mad at you, I will always love you no matter what, I just wanna know how you're doing...I know sitting down can make you nervous because you relate It to being punished but I promise you that you're okay, you're safe.
bby me: Okay. Well, I've felt lonely lately, sort of like everthing's empty. I miss my old room, my toys, my friends, It feels like there's nothing. Do you know If...It gets better?
