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Just so you know, If you left me, you have a letter. Or, multiple If I really liked you.
And silly me, I probably played a million different scenarios In my head where I got to tell you everything you didn't want to hear once you came back. Of course, you never came back, so my words got eaten up In my brain forever. I don't even remember half of the things I "complained" to you about In my head. However, I do remember the feeling once I knew you wouldn't come back, one so very familiar. A
The perpetrator who's masking as a good guy will tell a joke. A joke so unsettleing that makes us question If there was some truth to It.
And we'll all laugh an uncomfortable laugh. We'll even doubt If we're allowed to do so and look around for comfort, but we'll find that none of us have the answer, or, even worse, that none of us want to give It away.
We'll pretend It didn't happen and look the other way, since that's the thing we're best at, believing someone will take care of It an
I don't think I talk about my love life here much. I always wanted It to be separate from the rest of my healing journey but, the truth Is It's very much Intertwined and In fact, I have always known It was. I just haven't always been comfortable with my sexuality or my sex life/love life In general to share It. I mean I don't blame myself, I did have to hide most of It (having been groomed and all that, I also hid away from my own desires because my abuser made me believe It was a sin to pleasur
bby me: "Hi. Yes I think I did, but this time I wasn't holding It back like I always do. Tears are meant to be shown, I am supposed to cry when I'm supposed to cry. I think that's why It's been so long since you cried big sis...because when you had the opportunity you'd never let It happen. I know how you feel, I felt embarrassed too, to cry In front of everyone...believe It or not there's so much shame In crying for women as well...everyone really...
When people cry they say "I'm sorry", t
Little me: "I don't like when people talk down to me, petty me, feel sorry for me. My dad always lets me win and then denies It...my brother has done that a few times too. It makes me feel like I'm not smart enough, like I can't do things by myself. Yes, losing can be upsetting, but I like losing better than people feeling like I need to be pushed.
Older me Is working a new job and It's really hard on her, sometimes It wears her out completely, I don't know how she got there, I would be so
