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About this blog

This is where I'll be expressing all my thoughts and basically anything that fits below my life, what's in my mind, and/or any dreams and nightmares I have.  It'll contian TRIGGERS, please be aware.  I'll be writing paragraphs, short (real) stories, and poems.  I love writing poems; you'll be seeing a lot of them. 

Entries in this blog

Society/People

Been hurt so much, Been lied to in the face. Bullied all around, Pushed all over the place    Met many people in person, Seems most of them are fake. How come I get the bad people? How come I get hurt by the stake?   Society is bad, So is the people. It's to the point, I've given up on visuals.   When my family says, "Make some friends!" I ask myself, "What will it take?"   I have some real friend

Celia

Celia in Pain

Anger and Pain

Where do I even start..... 😔😔   All these memories,  Inside my head. It makes me mad, Makes me wanna be dead.   I don't know what to say, So, I cry myself away. Hopefully it's enough, To drown my mind for the day.   All this anger, All this pain. I wanna make it stop, Everything is so gray.   No light, no sound, It's a dark place here. Where's myself? I can't see clear.   I'm slipping aw

Celia

Celia in Pain

Not Understood

I'll be plain and honest, I'm not very strong. Everytime I stand up,  I always fall down.   I'll be plain and honest, Everytime I try, I fail. When they say, "get up," They also say, "it's not a big deal."   I'll be plain and honest, About every word I've heard. "Strong," "smart," "beautiful," It's just a lie in my mind.   I'll be plain and honest, With all the lies aside. Last few months,  I've been thinki

Celia

Celia in Pain

Amazing... then triggering.

Been a while... I've recently recalled something that I find nagging at me constantly.  How can something you love SO much, suddenly be something you hate and despise the most?  It's very irritating. *Possible Trigger* Well, one day, I had to go to a hotel and while there, I made a phone call to the abuser.  Such a wise choice, huh?  The social worker and my therapist were SO hesitant about me doing it, but the detective said it might help.  Maybe the abuser will confess, right? 

Celia

Celia in Pain

Naive

Friends, family, Maybe a bf for me. Anyone I like or am close to, I'm naive and can't breathe.    When they ask me to do something, I do it without thought.  Whatever makes them happy, Is all that really counts.   Pic, or a selfie, Maybe audio or a snap. Everytime I try to say no, To them, it's a bunch of crap.   They say they aren't unhappy, When I say no to them. Yet, the look on their face, Shows their p

Celia

Celia in Pain

Bloodline

Fucking pissed, Losing my mind. I'm definitely gonna cut, It's happening tonight.   Gonna cut and bleed, Just as I cry. Tearline, bloodline, Watch it all drip away.   Feel the pain, Feel the burn. This is real, And it hurts.   I don't care, Cut away. The pain is bad, Drives me to cut deeper.   No regret, I'm fucking done. Cut so deep, I can't remember.   Is there a vein?

Celia

Celia in Pain

Pain tonight

My head,  The pain.    My chest, The strain.   My eyes, The game.   My thoughts, The drain.    There, What's that sound?   Here, I wanna drown.   Thoughts, Just wanna play.   Games, Gonna stay.   Memories, Through the day.   Punishment, You must pay.    Words, They're gonna say.   Things,  Once made.   Sounds, Not

Celia

Celia in Pain

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