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About this blog

For me this picture means a lot. My gf and and I bought a lot, the one  beside (left, up side of) the huge house on the right side at the end of the dead end. It's a goal and goals help me to go forward. A lot with trees and a future Victorian red house.  

Entries in this blog

Is it mine or is it yours

We were kids, you presented it as a game and I joined. We played it for years. You wanted to stopped, so we did. You wanted to start again years after stopping we did start again. We you, I discovered my body, I discovered what I'd like or hate to feel. I'd learn my limits. I thought it was a game and then I was use to it. You manipulated me in order to get what you wanted. Maybe you loved me more than a friend, but if so why didn't you respected me when I said no multiples time. Why d
Goldeneye

Goldeneye

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Mood

To read when down

Hey you, yes you ! Whoever is reading, me you... There are days we feels depressed, down, sad... Name it. Sometimes it last weeks, months and even years. I just want you to know you are not alone. Don't be shy and go on the forum to be helped, supported. You may even make new friends.  Read this carefully. You feel like crap, I understand you. You feel it will never ends, you don't see the end, I hear you. I just want you.. yes YOU, to know you are worthy. You are someone, you deserve love,
Goldeneye

Goldeneye in Mood

0

I fear...

To collapse completely. I'm seen as a tank my my friends. They don't even know what happened during too many years... I always keep going forward, I aim and reach my objectives. During college I collapsed for the first time. I stopped college, but I kept going to school after. When I dropped, I reoriented myself. Anyways, I didn't like it. I never took a break to think, it was a continuous reflections. I ended working, went back to school and now working and studying to reach the last level of m
Goldeneye

Goldeneye

2

I'm worried about a friend

I don't know why, but I'm worried of a good friend. She's not having good time and she underestimate herself. I hope she'll read this post and understand it's her.  We started to chat on a question I asked her and we kept answering each other. We talk of everything and nothing. We talk of our days and sometimes of our problems. I think she's becoming to be on of my best friends in only a few weeks. It's weird.. sometimes I'm afraid it's a dream.. in all the friends I had, most of them are n
Goldeneye

Goldeneye

0

April 2020

Note to myself, new entry at top.  2020-04-28 I’ve sleep from around 1h30 am till 9am. A good night of sleep would be 10h and I know I didn’t sleep well cause I moved a lot and my blanket are all around. I remember a little of my dream. Today, I walked after diner with my mom and did nothing after oh a public chat and the nice chat with that good friend. The public chat went well, the first time since I’m using the new chat. I may not end chat mod, but I really want to help people in
Goldeneye

Goldeneye

2

Why...

Sometimes, I wonder why did I go back there, I know I said I was use to it since it lasted around 10 years, but I knew I didn’t like it… I should of knew it would happen. Why would it been different than the day before? Why there’s a part of me that keep appreciating him ? He just used me. Did he knew what he was doing ? I love myself on a regular basis, but on that point, I hate myself and I’m far from forgiving myself. I was never drunk (except once but it was long after him, but I drank in hi
Goldeneye

Goldeneye

1
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