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Entries in this blog

Truth

This is the truth I hold, It took a lifetime to unfold but only a moment to be locked away and never told. Now hear me speak, I'm done feeling weak. The story I have to tell is my living hell. Don't be so quick to assume I led myself to this doom, I do that enough. Sometimes its tough, people don't want to know, instead they say 'it was so long ago' aren't you over it yet? I heard that so much, so i pretended to be all set. I even believed some of my own lies, but the truth about pain is that it

survivor07

survivor07

Values

He told me to lay back....I did. He rubbed my stomach....He put his finger in the middle of my chest and drew an imaginary line down my stomach and belw my belly button. I was wearing jeans. He undid the button and I didn't stop him. I should've pushed his hand away or hugged him to get him to stop. He undid the zipper and I didn't fight him. All I could do was bite my lip as I started to cry. His hands were so soft and warm. I could feel them inching closer to what I valued most. He moved aroun

survivor07

survivor07

That night

She remembers that night She remembers it all That feeling of being so alone That feeling that no one cared He was supposed to make it stop She loved how he talked to her like he cared But did he really? She remembers His gentle touch and how happy she'd been but was she really? With his arms around her, he said, "I love you" But did he really? She remembered All the pain she felt that night All the pain she felt when he left

survivor07

survivor07

Unnoticed

She's been pushed down so many times, no one noticed She feels this time will be the last, but no one cares As she lies there fading, her thoughts are invaded by memories of a painful past She feels the pressures of shame, rejection and self-hatred building, but no one seems to notice As she lies there on the floor she has no strength to get up Shes not worth it anymore Right now she is lonely Even though you can't tell, she is reaching out for what s

survivor07

survivor07

Another day

Six thirty in the morning Afraid to open my eyes Another day of grief A day of fear Another day spent all alone I try to justify all the pain all of this guilt and shame before my eyes Another day of confusion Another day of wondering I could've stopped it, but now all of this pain that I feel all this anger, is it ever going to go away? Twelve Midnight Afraid of the nightmares again my breathing stops All I can do is sta

survivor07

survivor07

15 year old self

I am so scared and worked up. For so long people had been bothering me to "get help" or "talk about it". So I did, I caved. It hasn't been what I expected at all. Its been better than I expected, until now...because now it comes to the details. I have never really come out and talked about these things before and I'm scared to do it. I am being very triggered lately and that is scary in itself. I understand that these are issues that need to come out but it scares me to talk about. I'm afraid of

survivor07

survivor07

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