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About this blog

Writings and ramblings calling out to God and the world to help find my voice again.

 

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Entries in this blog

Lesson 5

I was in the abuse small group of women in Celebrate Recovery tonight when a woman in the group began sharing things that really triggered me. First of all, she didn't share about her own experiences, which is part of the usual instructions in the opening of the group. She shared about her daughter's experiences being molested, and she shared about them graphically. I practically ran out the door after a bit of this. I got home and called my old sponsor from AA. I shared what was going on in my
Wonderfully_Made

Wonderfully_Made

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Baby Steps

So far in therapy I've hardly discussed the sexual abuse I experienced from my cousin as a child. We've been discussing my Grampy. He committed suicide a little over 20 years ago. My parents have hardly mentioned him since then. It's like he never existed except in my mind. It's enough to make a person think she's crazy. His violent death left a hole in my heart and mind that I almost can't deal with. The pain is excruciating sometimes. I never had a chance to grieve. My Grandpa was an
Wonderfully_Made

Wonderfully_Made

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Feelings, nothing more than feelings...la la la...

I begin therapy tomorrow. It's going to be by Facetime. I live in Arizona and my new therapist lives in Nevada. My cousin (from Michigan, no less) gave me her number. I couldn't find one who would call me back who takes Medicare who lives by me. I am so sad, anxious and angry that I just want to eat to medicate the feelings away...so sometimes I do, and sometimes I write, and sometimes I cry.  After a brief stint in the psych hospital and a week off I went back to work last Monday. God has
Wonderfully_Made

Wonderfully_Made

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Well here goes...beginning the journey...

(TW) I don't really know what to say, so I'll just start; My (approximately) 15 year old cousin molested me and I'm pretty sure he had me molest my little brother who is 1 year younger than me around the time when I was 3 or 4 years old. The memories are sketchy and that is VERY frustrating but I know it's a protection mechanism. I'm 46 years old and it's just coming up now, but I guess the little girl inside of me trusts me enough to take care of her at this point in my life. I just feel s
Wonderfully_Made

Wonderfully_Made

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