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Second Entry In Here...

So I'm not really familiar with blogging, or adding posts within blogs, etc. Who sees these? Where do they show up? How do I find others like me? It's all just a bit fuzzy to me when it comes to something just as simple as a message forum. I guess really I'm going to use this site, and more specifically my personal blogs as my unfiltered journals. I get to remain anonymous, the thoughts don't have to take up all of the space in my head and maybe I can get some advice or relate to others in retur

hope2013

hope2013

The Purest Prayer

My baby sister, she's my love She's the butter to my bread, But she has a learning disabiliity That she shall never be rid of Though she's phsyically mature, Her mind is somewhat behind. Yet a sweeter soul you'll not find, Of that statement I'm quite sure And on one horrid fateful night, The police came to our house. They took away her dad - mom's spouse, And this gave her quite a fright He did not return from work next day, And naturally she wondered why, "Daddy is sick" was our reply - So she

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Treasure Hunt

In the land of opportunity I awoke And I searched for the right place I'm not too far from the simple folk Whose transportation likes to graze But my surroundings aren't sedate Indeed your head would be spinning To get to me you'd have a while to wait 20 minutes, an hour - I'm not kidding Streetlights made of kisses inviting You to the entry of a fantastic dream Where everything is so exciting And you'll find some common themes I'm happy where I am right here A chocolate heaven so beguiling Enor

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

A Work In Progress

I'm new to this site. I would eventually like to put my whole story on here. There will be triggers, so there's a forewarning, but I really need to get this all out. I've been to therapy, I've talked to friends and family members, but it's hard to feel better when no one really knows exactly how I feel. So I want to give everyone on here the chance to know exactly what is going on, if anyone is even interested. I won't use names with my story, just because things aren't all legally worked o

USN11Sam

USN11Sam

Lost And Confused

Ugh. Not sure what i'm doing back. It's been a while i thought i was getting stronger. Just seems like one thing is after another. at the moment. It's been almost 3 years this june since my attack it's just crazy how time either goes really fast or slow. I finally got in a relationship. Instead of just a sleeping one. I've been really happy. untill recently. I know at times i can be a lot to handle. I have a lot of insacure issues that i need to get over. I'm strong but i'm weak. I thought i ha

inzerlinzer17

inzerlinzer17

High Spirits

Be gone with you, who can not be polite My spirits are high, and aren't coming down The smile on my face exudes my delight It's glued on so tight, I feel like a clown I feel so alive, my chest might explode I wish I could say just how great I feel But there are no words that can be bestowed For my elation is just so surreal My outlook is bright, I'm filled with such glee I'm jumping with joy, and squealing with bliss I really don't care what you think of me Let the world judge me for my happines

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Love Of My Life, You

Loyally Tender Occasionally Observant Virtuous in hearty endeavors Endlessly being silently patient Ongoing respect truly essential Fervently essaying firey love Matrimonial these thoughts You ought to concieve of Lovingly, personify us

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Forgiven

Feelings of anger, hurt and pride, Overidden slightly by compassion. Readily allowing comtempt to slide, Gratuitous freedom willingly given. Inconceivably cruel acts pardoned, Valorously surrendering fair penalty. Exuding unusual kindness so ardent, Naughty criminals may be heartened.

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Telling Someone

I thought once I told someone it would start to get better I was wrong. I told my mum I was raped, finally, it took me 2 years to tell her. Now I wish I hadn't. I can see it hurting her and it kills me seeing her hurt because of something that happened to me. She blames herself for me getting raped and I hate it. I hesitated in telling her for this precise reason. I don't want her to feel upset because of me. I feel like if I hadn't told her things would be easier... Anybody else understand th

beckyjayne

beckyjayne

I'm New To Speaking About What Happened To Me

I'm scared. I'm angry. I have nightmares. I force smiles on my face. I'm hurt and today is not a good day for me. I black out. I suffer in silence. I don't want that anymore. I don't want to worry when my panic attacks will come. I don't like to be touched.... Sorry, I'm New to this and this is what is going thru my mind...

ZombieG

ZombieG

Pride And Prejudice

Proud, arrogant, and conceited- Her first impressions of Mr.Darcy, She believed despite just having met. She had judged a book by its cover. He thought nothing of her, Miss Lizzy, A plain young lady he thought a bore, Unintelligent, uneducated she had to be, He had judged a book by its cover. Instantly hating him for his own words, For dividing her sister from her true love Her first impression proved stronger now She had judged a book by its cover. A longer look proved she had beauty, Listening

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Manipulating Apologies

You said that you were sorry, You said it wouldn't happen again, That the alcohol was behind it, That you would make amends You said that you were sorry, Indeed it happened once more, You made us empty promises The same ones from before You said that you were sorry, You requested another chance For a short time things improved, Followed by the same old song and dance You said that you were sorry, But by then it was too late I was much too scared to leave, My fear had sealed my fate You said that

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Blue Eyes

Bewildering images unprocessed she sees Light for the first time magically mystifying Unfamiliar objects, surroundings brand new Eager eyes exploring fresh territory so bizarre Endearing glances up towards loving faces Young, newborn eyes devouring all in sight Expressive, curious, innocent looks on her face Surprised sapphire eyes filled with such delight

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Sixth Sense

Seasonal scenery silently seen Sounds stifled, society seems serene She savors sweets - smells sunflowers Soft skin stimulated, sensational shower Symbols she signals, seeking support Society sees such sentences so short

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Surviving Victimization

We've struggled and said "no" Made our boundaries crystal clear We've given in submissively To alleviate without consent our fear We no longer know who we are Our identities have gone astray We struggle with our memories Willfully wishing them away A sudden touch can trigger us We never forget the violations We're startled by sudden sounds Sometimes into dissociation We're not sure how to trust We generally feel insecure We're always second-guessing Of our own decisions we're unsure We battle wi

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Unspeakable

Thoughts and feelings both concealed Teeth and tongue frequently reunited The alternative being excess chaos Spoken and implicit ammo uninvited Burning fuel beneath camouflage invisible Verbal bullets wittingly choked back Battling the urge to ignite a hostile war In spite of your unprovoked attack Your open and closed hostilities rebuffed I suffer inner conflict out of sheer respect In favor of peaceful conditions for others Who never detect my mental straitjacket For the sanity of others my ow

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Royal Rules

Why do you keep doing things I have not approved? Bringing other animals here simply will not be excused. I am not a bird simply here for your amusement, Listen to me human while I clear up the confusion. If you bring home a bird - that means it is my snack Don't lock it away from me or I assure you I'll attack. I'll make a mess of everything to break open that cage, And you will have no right to throw a fit of human rage. Rodents, birds, and rabbits are only to be treats, Other felines or dogs

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Blissful Firsts

I will never forget the blissful summer of '09 Love, fear, adrenaline bursting through my veins That was the summer I experienced my firsts: Relationship, love-making and lets not forget the planes My first time at an airport, I was going alone I was scared - that's for sure - but what could I do? The fear of crashing was there in the back of my mind At the end of my journey though - I knew there was you The zoo, the park, the golfing and bowling So much to do - and with such little time to spar

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Do Unto Others

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" This verse is running around in circles in my head I hate when we argue and get into such fights I feel bad about all the awful things that were said "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" A simple saying meant to act as one's moral guide I know I should apologize - I genuinely want to What is standing in my way is swallowing my pride "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" This certainly holds true the other way around

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Awaken, Dear Heart

Little miss innocent, miss uncommonly kind, Sweetheart, wake up - wherever you are I know that you're in there somewhere I feel you sleeping within my heart. It's about time you woke up now, I can't do without your positive outlook, Keep those rose-colored glasses on, Don't stop devouring those books. Darling, your imagination is a wonderful thing, Daydreams will never cause you stress. Please stop worrying what people think of you, You are so blissfully, wonderfully blessed To have that optimis

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

Daddy

I used to race to the front door when I'd hear you come home, I would greet you excitedly with a hug and a smile I was daddy's little girl, it didn't take much to make you proud - Nor did it take much to make you angry and hostile. As I grew older it was much more of a challenge, Making you proud and appeasing you were a definition combined. I appeased you one moment, then suddenly disappointed, And proud again the next moment in your shifty state

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

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