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for some reason i can't explain
i know saint peter won't call my name
i discovered that my castle stands
upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
for my head on a silver plate
just a puppet on a lonely string
who would ever want to be king?
So I stopped writing because I felt I wasnt writing anything new. Just repeating the same old same old. The problem is my mind didnt stop thinking the same old stuff. It still thinks and functions like the thought is new.
I am losing at this battle. I have turned further inward. I am cutting people out. I am losing trust and faith and hope. I didnt have a lot of any to start with so losing a drop of any is something I cant afford. I cant/wont speak/write about it. I just want to cry them aw
i'm so tired of saying 'it's okay' when it really isn't
i'm so tired of being let down
i'm so tired of being disappointed
i'm so tired of being let down when i'd need someone the most
what am i supposed to say to that? what am i supposed to do?
am i supposed to act like it's okay when it isn't?
am i supposed to bury my feelings and my hurt and my needs?
that doesn't sound right
maybe this isn't right for me