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Blogs

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it's small, and already dead in my palms

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i hope you rot you don't deserve forgiveness, compassion or sympathy and you never will i hope you burn in hell you deserve it

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people are disgusting, horrible, terrible so many disgusting people in the world disgusting garbage media can we please stop worshipping celebrities they're just people and often shitty ones too

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Looking back

It has been a really long time since I last posted here. Three years. It seems like so much has changed, but at the same time I still feel it like it was yesterday. I felt like I should update this, because I have made a lot of progress and maybe someone else could find hope in it. The last six months have felt like an entirely different lifetime. After one of the lowest points in my life, after admitting myself to the hospital in fear of myself, I finally went to a doctor. I'm now taking medica

kitkat54

kitkat54

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just a passing ghost the emptiness that holds me is relentless faint, departed soul a life inside a vacuum a rover on an empty plane broken floorboards, left all their things behind

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come here, no, go away stay… “I’ve hidden it away” mayday, tell them who I really am since everything I know is about to meet its end mayday, tell me who I really am, did you figure out the person you knew was just a sham? the sense of guilt, beholding me for how long? it's all going grey I’m just a wandering spirit, dead and gone A blank void, empty as can be (DECO*27 - Ghost Rule)

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bad

having a very bad day. i make myself sick. im worthless.

iluvac

iluvac

If it’s not one thing it’s another...TW

It would be nice to have a chance to sit down and deal with my current issues without more shit piling on top of it. I know it’s life but this whole journey is becoming to much again. It’s like walking down a path of broken glass, your feet are bleeding and all cut up and you turn down another path only to find out there’s more glass on the road. You don’t have any other way to go so you have to keep going forward even though there’s glass on the road and if you go back there’s still gonna be gl

Selma

Selma

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dance dance dance with an empty heart dance dance dance a headless fool with suspicious words and trivial logic the world's insides turn into nonsense if you'd let me speak and show you i'd only be ignored today, another day it seems that i'll collapse i'd rather disappear (Karasuyasabou - Dance Dance Decadence)

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My Evening...

I went to the chiropractor tonight. I saw a different guy than normal cuz I changed the time last minute. He seemed like he was in a hurry. It was the fastest adjustment I’ve had and he didn’t tell me what he was doing before he did it. He had me stand against the wall and then basically pressed himself against me multiple times. In my mind I’m thinking “STOP!” but I couldn’t say anything. My mind was racing and I started thinking back… Then he has me lay on the table and basically laid on top o

Viceless

Viceless

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i'm not an aesthetic, i'm a person don't fucking fetishize me i'm a person, not an empty vessel for you to project your delusional, sexist fantasies on fuck off! i don't like what you've done with me nobody even asks for permission anymore

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i measure euphoria in milligrams there is no heaven above only vacant clouds

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please don't blast music loudly from your car thank you

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how dare you try to tell me who i can or should be? how dare you try to dictate what i will be, what i will do, what i will believe, how i will act, how i will dress? who do you think you are? you have no control over my life or me. you don't control me. you wish you did, because you're an insecure, despicable, loathsome coward who can't get a grip and can't get a handle on their own life. fuck you. control your own fucking life instead of vulnerable people easy to take

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Healing, what would it be

What does healing look like for me? I ask myself this question often and the answer is pretty much the same. I just want to be content. Happiness seems like a goal of perfection. I want it but I know it isnt really possible. So I settle for what is possible. I dont think that is asking too much. Like I just want to be sure that I learn and grow from the past. What does healing look like? It means I sleep like a normal person. Bed at a decent hour and up at a decent hour. Most importantly, I

aperson

aperson

They’re back...TW-Trigger Warning ⚠️

All these intrusive thoughts swimming through my head again. It’s agonizing. I really feel I can’t trust a lot of people. I feel like if I opened up even more with every body They’d think I was crazy or gross or perverted. When I say open up I’m talking about my experiences with men after I was assaulted. I got into some weird things. It makes me question my preferences and if everything I love about sex and relationships comes from a dark and twisted place as I said in my last blog post.   

Selma

Selma

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go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go a

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