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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com
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6 replies to this topic

#1 KatoriAmat

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  • 1 posts

Posted 08 July 2013 - 08:17 PM

Hi everyone, 


I am new to all of this as a victim. I have always been victim support as most of the women and some of the men in my family are survivors of abuse and/or rape. I had no idea I would be so shattered by what happened to me. I was lucky in many ways. Had certain things not happened, like my friend and roomie being home in the next room, or had I stayed out later, I may not be here to even post this. I am a grateful, positive person. Everyone in my life who knows what happened is incredibly loving and supportive, including my boyfriend. 


I suppose I will post more in the share your story section. 


I am usually a very open, heart on my sleeve kind of person about everything, even the bad things that I have happened to me. This time, though, I feel uncomfortable talking about it. I bottle it up and try and forget it, to move on. But then it comes right back up because of the nightmares, or a comment, or I think I see him in public. I feel dirty, used. I feel like it was my fault. That I let him do that. After all of my friends and family who have been through it, I always thought I would fight back to the death. 


I am here to get these things out. To talk to people who understand and have been there. Maybe in time, with enough talking and less bottling, I can come together again. I really hate that for once I have a happy life and amazing partner and yet I carry this wound around with me still. 


Thank you, in advance for being awesome people and anyone who takes time to read and respond to anything I post. :)



#2 patriciag



  • Member
  • 439 posts

Posted 08 July 2013 - 09:51 PM

Hi. Manda----welcome

#3 EmmyCGirl

  • Member
  • 33 posts

Posted 11 July 2013 - 02:20 PM

Hi Manda!  I hope you find what you need here and are able to share all that you need to and be supported!



#4 AnnK

  • Member
  • 80 posts

Posted 12 July 2013 - 03:44 PM

I'm sorry to say welcome. Please know you are though and find a safe haven on AS. We're here for you.


#5 onewoman365

  • Member
  • 203 posts

Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:50 PM

Welcome, Manda.  I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did.  I'm sure you'll find lots of comfort and support here at AS. 

#6 silentg

  • Member
  • 1,471 posts

Posted 16 July 2013 - 06:59 PM

Hello Manda and welcome to AS!

What happened was not your fault! I can relate to the feeling of 'did I fight back hard enough'  but really,  you should never have been put in a position of needing to fight back in the first place. I hope you find lots of support and healing words here!


#7 ~FOUND~


    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

  • Member
  • 46,688 posts

Posted 08 March 2014 - 08:33 PM

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.