Posted 04 July 2013 - 08:47 AM
It was 36 years ago; I was 8; It was attempted rape; It was interrupted; YET It shaped who I became; It still effects my life. In fact, it effects my life in ways I am still realizing.
In my mind, I dealt with the thoughts and emotions caused by all that, but I talked about it with very few people. At 36, following my father's death, I imploded into panic and anxiety which I came to realize was rooted in that 8-year-old's experience. At 38, I decided to tell my mother about what happened as a child.
She dismissed it by saying "that was a long time ago, and you ought to be over it by now."
I was so hurt!
She isn't a survivor and has NO clue what it does to a person nor do I even feel that she cares. Since then, I've shared with a few non-survivors in my life and got the response that you mentioned. It seems only those who've been through it or are trained in working with survivors get it.
Why have I shared all this? Because nothing really happened to me either. I read other's stories when I first got here, and I minimized my own story because I hadn't experienced anything that I thought was nearly as severe. In retrospect, I know that, in my life, it was significant, and that's all that counts.
Everyone's story is significant. In general, sexual abuse has an effect on each person who experiences it. You and I both belong here at After Silence because we've been impacted by the soul-violating act of another person.
I'm glad you've joined with us! If you get to know other new members and begin to form a support group for yourself here, hopefully it will help you to feel more at ease with what you're going through. It's a normal response to what you've experienced.
I've not meant to take over your post, but I just needed to share with you.
Your Sister in Survival
Newbie Support Team Member