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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com
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4 replies to this topic

#1 somochickenlady

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 02:51 PM

I'm not sure I really belong here, b/c my sitiuation is just attempted rape that was thankfully interrupted before anything really happened.  It has still caused havoc in my life, especially my intimite relationship with my husband (it wasn't him).  I figured I would come here for advice b/c when I have tried to talk about it to people I know, I usually just get silence, or a "that sucks..." because they don't know what to say.  I feel silly that this is even a problem because I wasn't actually raped, and it was 3.5 years ago, so I feel like I should be over it by now....

Edited by somochickenlady, 03 July 2013 - 02:52 PM.

#2 lexip

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 04:35 PM

Hi, welcome to AS! What happened to you was still a traumatic experience. I experienced an attempted rape about 4 years ago, and it had a big impact on my life also! I hope you find support and understanding here!! take care,



Edited by janepp, 03 July 2013 - 04:35 PM.

#3 sunshinee

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Posted 03 July 2013 - 08:02 PM

Hi Somochickenlady,


You know you shouldn't feel silly at all. Here we don't see anything as big or small - it's more about how it has effected you. Sometimes we all feel like we should be over it now, but it takes time. I hope you can reach out and get the support you are looking for. I'm sure you'll find it here :)


If you need any help navigating around the boards or have any questions please feel free to send me a message.



#4 sisterinsurvival

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Posted 04 July 2013 - 08:47 AM

Hi somochickenlady,

It was 36 years ago; I was 8; It was attempted rape; It was interrupted; YET It shaped who I became; It still effects my life. In fact, it effects my life in ways I am still realizing.

In my mind, I dealt with the thoughts and emotions caused by all that, but I talked about it with very few people. At 36, following my father's death, I imploded into panic and anxiety which I came to realize was rooted in that 8-year-old's experience. At 38, I decided to tell my mother about what happened as a child.

She dismissed it by saying "that was a long time ago, and you ought to be over it by now."

I was so hurt!

She isn't a survivor and has NO clue what it does to a person nor do I even feel that she cares. Since then, I've shared with a few non-survivors in my life and got the response that you mentioned. It seems only those who've been through it or are trained in working with survivors get it.

Why have I shared all this? Because nothing really happened to me either. I read other's stories when I first got here, and I minimized my own story because I hadn't experienced anything that I thought was nearly as severe. In retrospect, I know that, in my life, it was significant, and that's all that counts.

Everyone's story is significant. In general, sexual abuse has an effect on each person who experiences it. You and I both belong here at After Silence because we've been impacted by the soul-violating act of another person.

I'm glad you've joined with us! If you get to know other new members and begin to form a support group for yourself here, hopefully it will help you to feel more at ease with what you're going through. It's a normal response to what you've experienced.

I've not meant to take over your post, but I just needed to share with you.

Gentle hugs,
Your Sister in Survival
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#5 ~FOUND~


    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

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Posted 08 March 2014 - 08:10 PM

Hi there.
Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.