I found this website while searching for information about post-rape behaviour. I thought I had resolved all my feelings about being raped, but during recent therapy for PTSD it has emerged again.
Turns out I had buried it so deeply because I really believed it was my fault. I believed I was so bad that I had to hide that part of myself from everyone.
The therapy is hard, but I am at last re-evaluating all the thoughts and feelings about myself that I've believed for decades.