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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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8 replies to this topic

#1 RabbitDude

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 09:42 AM

Hi room.  I am new and am a guy, and a survivor.  I'm not quite sure how to reach out yet here but will try.  I have been in T since September. I know there are thousands of stories like mine, thousands of "us".  I don't get the why, and never will.  My sexual abuse started when I was around 5 or 6, and the verbal and physical stuff before that.  It continued till I was big enough to stop it (mostly) and left home.  At least the verbal and physical stuff stopped.  My family doesn't know about the predators, but they sure know about the verbal and physical stuff at home.  No one talks about it, and I don't get that either.  There is a lot I don't get and it bites. The predators stole my innocence, but they could not take it all away and that part I still have inside.  I will not give into hate, or "they" will win.


At least now I know I am not defined by who and what the bad people told me I was.  Actually thanks to my T I know I was never defined by them.  I was not made for the things they said I was made for, that stuff they said was the only thing I'd ever be good for.  I also learned from my counselor that it does not matter anymore where I have been, only where I'm going. I'm not sure where that is yet. Sometimes things still make me cry and I don't like that, but I'm glad I found this place. The shadows can leave me alone now, and I hope they figure that out soon. They are not going to win.



#2 Becky18

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 10:57 AM

Rabbitdude,

 

I'm glad you are realizing none of this is your fault. My husband is also a survivor so I have a bit of a clue about what you are dealing with.  And good for you for not letting them win.  Take care and best wishes as you continue to find your strengths. 

 

Becky



#3 RabbitDude

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 11:41 AM

Thanks, sometimes I just hate where I am, but then I try to remember that where I am now is a lot different then before, in this weird healing process.  Even though it's weird and I have a lot to sort out, I know it's working too.



#4 ActivistAlly

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 11:51 AM

Welcome to AS RabbitDude! 

 

I'm sorry you have reason to be here but I'm glad you found AS!

 

I hope you will find support and safety here as you go through your healing journey!  It's good to meet you!



#5 crayonboxfamily

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 01:21 PM

Welcome RabbitDude,

So happy that you are taking the steps to healing and growth. You definately are not alone.



#6 RabbitDude

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Posted 02 March 2013 - 08:43 AM

Thanks Activist and Crayon, I was able to talk some in chat yesterday, after pushing myself hard nt 2b a lurker.  Gotta try to focus forward and not look back at the shadows.  There are so few safe places on the net but I think Im feeling safe here.  It may take me some time 2b kewl with everything but will try.  Thanks again.



#7 ActivistAlly

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Posted 02 March 2013 - 08:54 AM

:)

 

That's good!



#8 lexieb

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Posted 02 March 2013 - 12:32 PM

It was a pleasure to talk to you yesterday rabbit and I'm glad you found AS....it really is a safe place.  :)



#9 ~FOUND~

~FOUND~

    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

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Posted 08 March 2013 - 04:49 PM

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

i hope you find this site to be helpful.

very nice to meet you.

Found