Hi room. I am new and am a guy, and a survivor. I'm not quite sure how to reach out yet here but will try. I have been in T since September. I know there are thousands of stories like mine, thousands of "us". I don't get the why, and never will. My sexual abuse started when I was around 5 or 6, and the verbal and physical stuff before that. It continued till I was big enough to stop it (mostly) and left home. At least the verbal and physical stuff stopped. My family doesn't know about the predators, but they sure know about the verbal and physical stuff at home. No one talks about it, and I don't get that either. There is a lot I don't get and it bites. The predators stole my innocence, but they could not take it all away and that part I still have inside. I will not give into hate, or "they" will win.
At least now I know I am not defined by who and what the bad people told me I was. Actually thanks to my T I know I was never defined by them. I was not made for the things they said I was made for, that stuff they said was the only thing I'd ever be good for. I also learned from my counselor that it does not matter anymore where I have been, only where I'm going. I'm not sure where that is yet. Sometimes things still make me cry and I don't like that, but I'm glad I found this place. The shadows can leave me alone now, and I hope they figure that out soon. They are not going to win.