I don't know where to begin. I've stayed silent about this for too long. I am struggling to deal with the aftermath of a rape and the five months following it being stalked, coerced, manipulated and threatened by my employer. I've finally found my voice, but it feels like it belongs to someone else. I'm a mess internally, with more emotions fighting for the top rung than words to describe them...right now "lost" is winning...
They issued the warrant for his arrest today, but I can only wonder if I am strong enough to make sure he is held accountable for what he did to me...and the others. How can I be strong enough for a fight this big (and I've been informed exactly how ugly rape trials can be) when the thought of leaving my house to get a new job leaves me an anxiety-ridden shell of a functional person and the thought of meeting anyone new leaves me physically ill?
I always thought I was one of the strongest people I knew. I don't know myself anymore...How do I recover that piece of my soul he stole from me, the part that had faith in humankind and always saw the good in others? I don't want to be a negative person, but I can't be that person anymore either.
Forgive my jumbled thoughts. It's all I've got right now...thanks for listening.