Hi I'm Becky,
I'm here because I am trying to help my husband and myself deal with his childhood attack and the aftermath. We have been married many years and this is beginning to affect our marriage.
I married him suspecting there was abuse of some sort in his past. He would never tell me though I often gave him an opening. Then he became depressed and began to close me out. Anyway when something happened at his work place he had to tell me what had been going on and yes that explained his depression and him pushing me away. Trying to explain what had happened and why I had wondered then if the incident was related to abuse as I was suspecting even more that that was in his past. I struggled quiet a bit with what had happened but he never wanted to talk about and didn't want me to talk about it even with people who had witnessed what we call a breakdown for lack of a better word. Then 2 years later he confessed that he had been attacked and raped. We dealt with it very little but thought he was basically ok. And if he was ok, I was ok. Now it has re-surfaced. He has found support with some friends---and now I need some help and support too I think. I've considered finding a therapist but feel that maybe just having a secondary friend to talk to would be helpful.
I hope there is someone here to help-----just looking around this site it looks like there is a secondary forum but it looks like no one has posted on it since Oct. Am I looking in the wrong place...I hope posting here was the right thing to do.