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Suggestion For Members Fearing Opposite Sex


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17 replies to this topic

#16 briarrosa

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Posted 12 February 2011 - 03:02 PM

This is a good thread and I am so glad this topic is being openly discussed. I agree that it is so important to separate the two issues: fear and discrimination. I think that the issue can be difficult for many people (in particular survivors) because not everyone can express their fears well or be self-aware enough about themselves and their relationship to others to distinguish their fears from prejudice. I think having AS as a forum to support survivors, but to also to educate them about the difference between fear and discrimination is a very important and positive thing.

QUOTE (Shido @ Feb 10 2011, 11:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"But it also falls to us men (and women on the same side) to find a way to constructively point out these issues so as to not drive a larger gulf between us than there is already. "


I really appreciate this comment. "Constructively" addressing these issues is really important to me as well. This is an open forum to ALL survivors and many here may not have had the opportunity to develop perspective or clarity on these issues yet. It is very important to enlighten ignorance, but keeping always in mind who is on this site. I feel that gentleness, of which all of us could use more of, is so important.

In the broader spectrum of AS, perhaps another review of the wording in the guidelines might help, ie. some examples given of what discriminatory language looks like. I know it might seem unnecessary to many, but again there are people from all walks of life here. If AS is to be more than just a supportive place, but also a place to learn and grow about oneself, then it may be necessary to spell things out in a much more obvious way for some.

Anyways, that's just my 2 cents. I'm glad this topic was started.


#17 Becky

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:52 PM

Good point, briarrosa,

Maybe it would be helpful to re-word some of the guidelines in regard to this, as well as put some additional material on the board that could be helpful to understanding this issue.



#18 MortalGoddess

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 09:40 PM

I started topics for fear of opposite and same sex. I'm pretty sure they're in the "gathering place" forum. Don't have time to go look it up right now.

As I said in both topics: I'm trying to show members how to get to the root of their fear (not that there's anything wrong with a "general" fear) and how to express it.

Edited by MortalGoddess, 17 February 2011 - 09:41 PM.