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Guest Message by DevFuse
From Victim To Survivor To Thriver
Started by
calliehere
, May 06 2010 11:18 PM
70 replies to this topic
#47
Scribbles
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- M. Member
- 33 posts
Posted 17 December 2010 - 02:57 PM
This is interesting. Thanks for sharing. I'm mostly in the survivor section. But I do have my days where I'm more victim still. I'm working towards being in the thriver section. I'm glad to see I have at least a few ticks in the thriver section!
Take care
Take care
#48
kristycakes
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- Member
- 12 posts
Posted 05 January 2011 - 03:53 PM
thank you so much for posting this. it has really opened my eyes. 
#49
claireD
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- Member
- 39 posts
Posted 09 January 2011 - 05:09 PM
I just wanted to add to the list of "thank you's"
I'm also a very visual learner, and I get very impatient with myself. This was so, so helpful to just slow down and really think about where I'm at.
I'm also going to share it with the people who are helping to take care of me.
-claire
I'm also a very visual learner, and I get very impatient with myself. This was so, so helpful to just slow down and really think about where I'm at.
I'm also going to share it with the people who are helping to take care of me.
-claire
#50
keyome
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- Member
- 180 posts
Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:20 AM
this was a great eye opener!
i thought ide be nearly all in the survivor. but then i got 10 victim, 12 survivor, and 3 thriver.
boom, know what i need to work on!
thanks for sharing, this is a brill chart :D
i thought ide be nearly all in the survivor. but then i got 10 victim, 12 survivor, and 3 thriver.
boom, know what i need to work on!
thanks for sharing, this is a brill chart :D
#51
TaurusMoonGirl
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- New Member
- 7 posts
Posted 12 January 2011 - 12:54 PM
Thank you, Callie, for posting that chart link. It's really helpful to take that self-eval.
I am surprised that I still have 5 of the victimesque symptoms (for lack of better word) but am largely in the thriver category. I really like that word. Thriver. I don't like using "victim" or "survivor" to describe myself because I feel like it suggests that's my one thing, my one story, and it's not. From now on I'm going to think of myself as a thriver. It's been a long row to hoe but I feel like the seeds are at least planted for a beautiful garden someday.
Plus, I love charts. They are a teacher's friend.
I am surprised that I still have 5 of the victimesque symptoms (for lack of better word) but am largely in the thriver category. I really like that word. Thriver. I don't like using "victim" or "survivor" to describe myself because I feel like it suggests that's my one thing, my one story, and it's not. From now on I'm going to think of myself as a thriver. It's been a long row to hoe but I feel like the seeds are at least planted for a beautiful garden someday.
Plus, I love charts. They are a teacher's friend.
#52
rennmaus
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- Member
- 10 posts
Posted 17 January 2011 - 07:46 AM
very nice chart... and i feel hopeful... i remember when i was in the victim category... now i seem to be more in the survivor (and a bit in the thriver) category
#53
Kestner
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- Member
- 35 posts
Posted 23 January 2011 - 12:16 AM
This was really interesting, since I've been having some issues as to where I would put myself. It`s good to have a reference.
#54
cpk
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- Member
- 37 posts
Posted 03 February 2011 - 08:53 PM
I saw this and started crying. i feel like half the things in the victim list characterize me... this is pretty saddening since it happened over 2 years ago. i feel pathetic that i haven't moved on.
#55
Chaodyn
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- Member
- 27 posts
Fallen Caryatid
Posted 12 February 2011 - 06:21 PM
This is great! Thanks so much for sharing it with us 
#56
Tessa
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- Member
- 149 posts
Posted 04 March 2011 - 12:41 PM
I'm new to the forum and figuring out what happened/how to move on, and I never thought that so much of what's going on could be universal like this. I thought it was just me. This chart scared me a little, but I'm glad I saw it so I could figure out what's just me and what's bad aftermath that I might be able to work past. I had all all victim with a few middle ones and maybe two that just didn't apply all-around.
Thanks for posting it.
Thanks for posting it.
Edited by Tessa, 04 March 2011 - 12:42 PM.
#57
Cloudhop
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- Member
- 96 posts
Posted 10 April 2011 - 12:57 PM
Wow, so many of these were in categories I didn't expect them to be in, for instance I thought seeing myself as wounded and needing to heal as being a victim-mentality self pitying stance, And feeling I deserved help to be a victim belief, for I thought that feeling you deserve better was a victim mentality, not a survivor mentality.
I'm so backwards on some of these.
This is a good chart to see where my thinking is flawed. I must admit there is a part of me that feels very defensive when people bring up the "victim" vs. "survivor" definitions, because its like categorizing us into "good" or "bad", but maybe that's just me. I think when someone says "your acting like a victim" My first response would be a deep sense of personal shame at having failed at being the "good" rape victim/survivor.
I'm so backwards on some of these.
This is a good chart to see where my thinking is flawed. I must admit there is a part of me that feels very defensive when people bring up the "victim" vs. "survivor" definitions, because its like categorizing us into "good" or "bad", but maybe that's just me. I think when someone says "your acting like a victim" My first response would be a deep sense of personal shame at having failed at being the "good" rape victim/survivor.
#58
blossums
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- Member
- 3,264 posts
Sausages.
Posted 10 April 2011 - 06:24 PM
Really glad to have read this thread again today, feels like it's given me some perception of where I am but in a way that doesn't leave me feeling so doomed / hopeless / ashamed as I have been feeling lately
Reading the thriver ways of being has actually gotten through all my negativity and reached me brain!
And though I am embarrassed to still be mostly victim with some survivor, I can see that I actually did make some good progress in the last decade, and that maybe I've taken a lot of steps backwards recently because have been struggling so very much
Reading the thriver ways of being has actually gotten through all my negativity and reached me brain!
And though I am embarrassed to still be mostly victim with some survivor, I can see that I actually did make some good progress in the last decade, and that maybe I've taken a lot of steps backwards recently because have been struggling so very much
#60
ladyc86
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- Member
- 86 posts
Posted 17 April 2011 - 10:41 PM
thank u for postin that chart...
readin and seein that i am more on the survivor side made me cry... bc i havent really considered myself a survivor. and it makes me feel hopeful to continue and to get to thriver.... esp when i still have bad days.. i can tell myself.. you are a survivor and be able to look at that chart for help.
readin and seein that i am more on the survivor side made me cry... bc i havent really considered myself a survivor. and it makes me feel hopeful to continue and to get to thriver.... esp when i still have bad days.. i can tell myself.. you are a survivor and be able to look at that chart for help.
