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Guest Message by DevFuse


From Victim To Survivor To Thriver

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71 replies to this topic

#1 calliehere

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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:18 PM

Last week my T told me that I was showing a lot of victim behavior. She said that I was burying my anger so much that it was turning into depression. I was really upset. When I started feeling a little better this week, I looked up what victim behavior vs survivor looks like. I found this chart that shows a list of behaviors for Victim, Survivor, and Thriver.

I printed out the list and put a check mark in each catergory to see where I am at. I wasn't happy to see that I was mostly in the victim column but I'm a visual learner so it gave me an idea of what I really need to work on right now.

Anyways, I wanted to share the chart with everyone. http://www.cbwhit.co...to-survivor.htm

Some of the wording about the behavior might be triggering.

I hope this helps.

#2 wishinuponastar


    We don't have to know, we just have to try.

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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:21 PM

Thanks for sharing! I am sad to say that I am mostly in the victim category as well sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif But this was something to open my eyes. Thank you! Hugs!!

#3 tehfraga



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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:23 PM

This is great, printing it out now. Thanks!

~Possible Trigger, IDK~
Question, in 'Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP' what does HP mean?

#4 calliehere

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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:36 PM

Fraga...I'm not sure what HP means....maybe Healing Power? Not sure. I would be interested to know. Let me know if you find out.

#5 jackie

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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:46 PM

Hi there - this was great... I enjoyed reading it .

I find that I can flip from one category to another... like, within a day. I'm going to take it as a good thing though smile.gif

really great - and yeah , what does HP mean? lol

#6 briarrosa

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Posted 06 May 2010 - 11:47 PM

thanks for sharing this. i think it is a very useful chart.

it's interesting for me. i really think it depends on my cycle how i fit in. lots of times i feel like a survivor or even a thriver, but right at this moment i'm feeling a lot more victim-esque.

#7 KatetheGreat

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Posted 07 May 2010 - 12:18 AM

This chart is so, so useful!! thanks for posting it. It's great to see where you are and what you need to work on.

#8 tehfraga



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Posted 07 May 2010 - 12:29 AM

Or maybe Healing Path?

#9 calliehere

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Posted 07 May 2010 - 12:40 PM

True, could be healing path...maybe Healing Prayers but I don't think so. I've got a few sarcastic suggestions, but I'll keep that to myself for now. wink.gif

#10 calliehere

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Posted 09 May 2010 - 05:38 PM

I've had a lot of really good feedback about this chart so I thought I would bump it up one time for those that may not have seen it. I showed it to my T and she thought it was a really great tool.


#11 tehfraga



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Posted 10 May 2010 - 05:15 AM

Very helpful, I marked the ones I thought I was and my secondary went through and decided if he agreed or if I identified with a different one instead.

#12 Wolfie


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Posted 10 May 2010 - 07:12 AM

I could pick at one or two bits of this chart but I'm not gonna because on the whole I think it's a brilliantly useful starting point.

I had to put two marks in "victim" myself if I'm very honest and that was enlightening, I looked at what "survivor" and "thriver" for that line would be and thought of it a bit like when someone says to you "try looking at it this way". It was interesting and I hope those people who are getting a lot of ticks in "victim" are able to look at the survivor column for hints on where to perhaps try heading next on thier healing path. I found the rest of my answers split, mostly "survivor" and perhaps a quarter to a third in "thiver". This was also helpfull because I had a sense that Ok I can write some of these off as satisfacory and focus on the other bits where I agree with the author.

I'm glad you posted this I really am.

#13 Kalonice


    I'm finally Daddy's Little Girl

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Posted 10 May 2010 - 09:47 AM

Interesting chart... tells me basically what I already knew... that I am somewhere between victim and survivor... there were a lot of these that I highlighted both the victim AND survivor option, because I'm either right between the two, or I go back and forth depending on my mood. I only highlighted one thing in the thriver category... I know I've still got a LONG way to go. :/

It does help to see it laid out in words like that, though... it gives me a bit of an idea of where to go next.

Thanks for sharing.

#14 Peppermint

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Posted 10 May 2010 - 01:26 PM

I'm mostly in the survivor category with a few of the victim patterns of behavior hanging on. That's good to now, thanks.

My Therapist gave me a list of traits that are common among survivors. I have to find it, it was good.

Thanks again!

#15 tehfraga



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Posted 10 May 2010 - 05:22 PM

Oh yes, if you find that peppermint please post? : )

Also, I feel like some of them were a bit confusing and I wish they could be explained or something.