Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.
|Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.
After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Posted 21 December 2003 - 12:12 PM
As a chld, I was sexually abused for many years by a family member. Now I'm in my mid 30's and I still "live" a life full of pain, anger and lonliness. I have very few friends, I have trouble with all relationships, I can't trust or love (not even Family), and for the most part, I can barely function. I don't want to be like this...it's too tough.
I want to live, have friends and start my own family. I want to be able to function without the anxiety and fear of the world. I want to LIVE and ENJOY life and most times it seems like I never will be able to. Most of all, I want to love and be loved. How can I do that when I go through life like a zombie in hiding???
I finally decided to sign up here after reading others' thoughts and feelings. It was so very strange because I kept thinking I was reading about myself.
Thanks for having me...I so badly needed somewhere to go.
Posted 21 December 2003 - 01:21 PM
Welcome. I have a very similar story to yours, I also was abused by a family member for many years. I also struggle with anxiety, relationships, and in general being happy. I also just stumbled upon this site. You will find this forum very comforting, If nothing else you will know that you are not alone anymore. Trust is a huge issue with me. Here I find it easier to trust people, because they do understand. I know that this probably won't make you feel better but sometimes it helps just to know that someone understands the pain of this kind of trauma.
I am sorry that you have had to go through this. I am glad you have found us.
Posted 21 December 2003 - 02:52 PM
"Most of all, I want to love and be loved. How can I do that when I go through life like a zombie in hiding???"
Boy, I could write this word by word....this is me too. I understand what you feel so well and I hope that we'll be both able to "escape this prison" soon. Sometimes we don't even realize that we have locked ourselves inside a cell.
"It's about realizing, painfully, you've kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer has changed faces. You realize you've become your own jailer."
Let's try to free ourselves together!
[Edited on 12-24-2003 by Vera]
Posted 21 December 2003 - 07:49 PM
Your post really resonated with me as I too am in my mid 30's, was abused by a family member, have few friends, am filled with anxiety.
I am finding this is a long journey, but it is easier to take with comrades. Nobody in my life understands what comes with healing. This is a place I can come and people "get it", which is a HUGE relief.
Keep posting. Together we will all find our way.
Posted 22 December 2003 - 04:24 PM
I'm glad that you found this group for support. I hope that you will gain strength and realize you are supported here.
Posted 22 December 2003 - 09:20 PM