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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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Guest Message by DevFuse

Hello I'm New

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11 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Lutherin_*

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 07:32 PM

cry.gif Hi, my name is Marie it is not my true name it's my middle name I don't care for my first name much anymore and I diffently don't care much for my last name. This really is starting to scare me I have put alot of things that happend to me when I was little out of my mind which are very frigtening to me. I have memories of my father doing terrible things to me and yet I apparntly have put those things that happend to me so far in the back of my mind that they are all starting to come back to me. I guess that's why around males I have had such a dirty feeling even if they hug me. But the best thing is I finaly have a man that I feel I can be very close to and safe with but things have changed since I remember being abused by my father it's been hard to even allow him to hug me. I always feel ashamed and dirty I know I shouldn't but I feel that I'm really responsible for everything that happend to me. I don't know how to deal with the memorises and the "Episodes" I've been having. Well that's about me in a nut shell

#2 Lindy


    Running Princess

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 07:45 PM


First of all, welcome to After Silence. I'm sorry you went through difficult experiences, I'm sorry your father hurt you so much. Don't feel as if you're responsible for his wrong-doing. You did nothing wrong honey; it wasn't your fault.

I'm glad that you have someone in your life now who is caring and makes you feel safe. I hope he's very supportive and understanding that getting back into a comfortable level takes time. We're here to walk with you through this healing journey.

Take gentle care,


#3 Survivors sanctuary

Survivors sanctuary

    We were beset by conflicts without and by fears within

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 08:13 PM

Welcome to AS..I hope that being here helps you in your healing journey hug.gif

#4 Guest_Lutherin_*

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 09:08 PM

Thank you very much I'm glade to know there are people I can talk to about this without them thinking that I'm lying or just out for attention. I know it's going to take alot of time it took me 7yrs to put all these memories into hiding and it's just going to take longer to try and get them to go away permintantly. My boyfriend is really great he tries little exercises with me even getting me to talk about my memories to get them out.

#5 Donna


    Liver Schmiver

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 10:21 PM


Welcome to AS honey. hug.gif

It is so great that you have such an excellent and caring boyfriend, to have support from someone is so validating. thumbsup.gif

Please feel free to post as much as you'd like or read, whichever. Were here for you. hug.gif

((((Safe Hugs))))

Donna =)

#6 Guest_butterfly_*

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Posted 25 September 2004 - 07:52 AM

I'm sorry for what your father did to you. I'm going through the same thing
with buried memories coming back.
It's hard!!! It's scarry!!! It's painful!!!
There is good support here....I hope find what you need!
Take good care of yourself.

Butterfly hug.gif throb.gif hug.gif

#7 Guest_Lutherin_*

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Posted 25 September 2004 - 01:37 PM

smile.gif As hard as it may seem there's always a light in the darkness we just have to find it. I think though it's vary hard to find the light it's worth the finding

#8 betty


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Posted 25 September 2004 - 02:03 PM

(lutherin) hug.gif
welcome to AS!
i'm sorry that your dealing with so much at the moment. this place is wonderful, and i hope you find what you are searching for here

emma hug.gif

#9 Wendy



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Posted 26 September 2004 - 07:51 PM

Hi Marie
I just wanted to add my welcome to after silence. I hope that you find support here, it is a wonderful group of people.

Wend smile.gif

#10 Charlene


    Quoth the raven...

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Posted 27 September 2004 - 11:53 AM

welcome to the boards throb.gif

#11 Alysure


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Posted 27 September 2004 - 11:55 PM

Welcome sweetie. I hope we can offer some support. throb.gif

#12 Guest_Lutherin_*

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Posted 28 September 2004 - 06:15 AM

hug.gif Well I'm slowly recovering from my memories I think my boyfriend is really being supportive with me on this and he's really wanting to sit down and talk to my parents about what they did to me but I just don't want to mention to them about what they did to me because the would just say I was crying for attention. I know this might not seem to be much of a recovery but when I started to have flashbacks me and my boyfriend could not be really sexual without me getting scared and today I was fine I mean really fine except for the feeling of dirtiness which I think will linger for awhile.