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What Is It About Forced Sex...
Posted 13 April 2010 - 05:10 PM
Posted 14 April 2010 - 12:38 AM
i HATE the fact that this was done to me. I HATE that i didn't have the choice and I HATE the fact that the repercussions of this mean that i hurt myself sometimes, I make terrible choices (too often), I come across to others as crazy because i can be really easily triggered and reactive.
i am so badly trying to reclaim my life and feeling so incredibly frustrated at how hard it is.
anyways, thanks for taking the time to refute the taboo and give support to your fellow survivors.
Posted 24 April 2010 - 11:10 PM
briarrosa - I hate that it happened to you too and that the aftermath is so painful. It's so hard to heal and rebuild your life after whats happened but know you are doing your best and that is more than good enough. It's a huge trauma and ait takes a lot of time to heal these wounds well enough to make healthier choices and to desensitize the flashbacks and triggers. Go easy on yourself... you are trying and that means a lot. It means that you are strong and wise... you know what it takes to get through this... it just takes longer than we'd like.
Sending both of you respect and endurance.
Posted 26 April 2010 - 07:52 AM
Thank you so much. I am saving your post on my laptop and will read it again when I next feel I am spinning out of control.
Posted 27 July 2010 - 01:57 PM
And of course, it is still such a taboo subject, certainly in this country, that it makes it more difficult for victims to come forward and report it, or talk about it , or ask for help.
Once again, thanks for that amazing post,
best wishes, Paula
I think angelic said it perfect.But also I think one of the hardest things is that even if you report it then it may not go to trial.
Posted 30 April 2011 - 09:23 PM
Neelia - I couldn't have said it any other way about myself than what you have said. In church not long ago, my minister was giving examples of traumatic incidences from which some might struggle to regain emotional freedom. He used the R word, describing it as a brutal attack and for the rest of the sermon I could barely breathe. Afterward, I wondered at my reaction, why it was such a big deal and what actually made my R a big deal and why it would be considered a brutal attack. I had convinced myself that I had been overreacting, my PTSD was just me being dramatic, my depression a large-scale pity party and subsequent hospitalization simply that I couldn't handle something that others could.
I thought I was the only one who questioned myself like this and while I'm so sorry that you have all been through this, I thank you for sharing your thoughts. It really helps to have a logical, well versed explanation and I too will be hanging on to this for future reference.