Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.
|Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.
After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.
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What Is Recovery?
Posted 01 July 2007 - 09:58 PM
WHAT IS RECOVERY?
Stacy Nordquist, M.A.
I. Recovery is actively taking responsibility for how you live your life today.
2. Recovery is being able to put the past behind. It’s no longer having
your childhood script dominate how you live your life today.
3. Recovery is being able to speak the truth about your growing up
4. Recovery is the process in which you develop skills you weren’t able
to learn in your childhood.
5. Recovery is a process, not an event, often beginning as a result of
a professionally directed treatment or therapy, or experiences in
6. Recovery is no longer living a life based in fear or shame.
7. Recovery is developing your sense of self-separate
from survival/coping mechanisms. Your identity is no longer based
in reaction, but action.
8. Recovery-is the process of identifying, owning and developing
healthy ways of expressing feelings; it is the process of learning
self-love, self-acceptance. From learning these new ways a person
often learns how to set healthy boundaries and limits, To get needs
met, to play, relax, and develop flexibility.
9. Recovery is the process of learning to trust yourself and then trusting
others, and with trust comes the opportunity for intimacy.
“It is true that as long as we live we may keep repeating the patterns established in childhood. It is true that the present is powerfully shaped by the past. But it is also true that…insight at any age keeps us from singing the same sad songs again.”
Judith Viorst, “Necessary Losses”
It is not possible to be honest in the here and now when you continue to discount and minimize your childhood experiences.”
--Claudia Black, "Changing Course"
The following is an excerpt from a book that Lisa D. is currently writing regarding her recovery entitled "Fine Lines":
1) RECOGNIZE that self-injury is an inappropriate, uncontrollable and a dangerous coping method.
2) TELL someone you trust exactly what you are doing. Let the secret out.
3) REACH OUT for professional help
4) CHOOSE to replace self-injury with healthy coping skills.
Those were the initial steps. Below I have listed many steps during my recovery process, some of which, I must practice regularly:
· Acknowledging what happened to me, giving up the denial and letting go of the shame and blame
· Taking responsibility/accountability for who I am and want to be
· Therapy and addressing the right issues
· No more secrets
· Learning to let go of obsessive control
· Forgiving those who have hurt me
· Forgiving myself for hurting me
· Learning not to take on the responsibility for others actions
· Recognize when I’m losing perspective and self control
· Learning to love, respect and have compassion for me
· Regaining my spirit and zest for life
· Accepting the positives in life and letting go, but learning from, the negatives
· Letting go of the need to prove to others that I am worthy; accept that I am worthy
· Daily Affirmations
Posted 01 July 2007 - 10:44 PM
Posted 02 July 2007 - 01:11 PM
Posted 26 July 2007 - 07:35 AM
After i started writing down my feelings i realy started coping better. A few days back i spoke to dad, the abuser, and again it triggered the feelings but i realy coped well. For a day or two i was down and then i desided not to let him control my life any more.
I am going to start hipnothearapy to try and remember wat exactly happed during the abuse. My thearapist is not sure this is the way to go, because of my previous reactions, but i will never know if i don't try it.
Posted 27 July 2007 - 09:07 AM
Posted 27 July 2007 - 01:14 PM
Posted 04 October 2008 - 11:48 PM
Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:31 PM
Thanks so very much for these very valuable and helpfull healing methods and tips!...So true and powerful!...puts things into perspective and helps guide us all, in our healing-process-journey!!
You are a very strong survivor!!!...full of hope, courage, dignity and you are an inspiration to me!...thank you again for this!!!
Edited by sparkle, 06 October 2008 - 12:32 PM.
Posted 04 November 2008 - 05:58 PM
Posted 25 May 2009 - 12:42 PM